Spring Time

With every hug, I felt your kiss,

for that moment, I was at peace;

you had my patience, killed my dull,

saved my presence, then you were gone.

A tragic moment for every man

when a sphere-like shrapnel pierced your side; 

heaven’s sympathy fell off the sky

when your still carcass disgorged your life.

Now my love, you made me saddened, 

our time would pass, be forgotten; 

details of past, kept on living

inside the hearts, those we’re leaving.

I set my fate to end very near,

deep in my arms, I held you so dear;

the two of us set out, I with fear,

with this poison, forever be here.

Reviews

[FateDictates]

love your cool casual nonchalant style that with its clever use of words seemingly thrown together have me wondering what else causes you to want to write and share these thoughts.I like..curtsy bow

[BeeBev]

So sad but so beautifully written. It is also quite chilling and gave me goosebumps as i was reading.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very sad poem. No ending is a good one.
"Now my love, you made me saddened,
our time would pass, be forgotten;
details of past, kept on living
inside the hearts, those we’re leaving."
I liked how you described the situation in the poetry. Thank you fro sharing the excellent poetry
Coyote

[AaronFreitas]

Very good work. I really like the dark edge this writing has to it... made it a very enjoyable read for myself. Awesome poem keep it up!

[Daniel Sutheran]

I particularly enjoyed the second stanza; "when your still carcass disgorged your life" ambiguously shifts the mood of the poem from melancholy to almost disturbing, with the third stanza moving the mood back again. Lovely work.