I lived Expecting Nothing [1/3]

Throughout my life it was discussed:-

love spoke louder than mind.

'Twas unclear if I could entrust

my ego to the Blind.

I sleep and sigh and die alive:-

I'm my own illusion.

I think and try but I shan't thrive:-

You're my own delusion.

'Twas the Blind I could only trust

to judge if I should thrive.

My sin on Earth were then discussed:-

in Hell I'm still alive.

I may be trapped within my mind:-
I'm not a delusion.

'Twas perhaps the works of the Blind:

your only illusion.

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

You transport us so well across time.. across your life.. and into your mindscape.. into illusions and the shadows of those worlds within us.. the world we truly experience as individuals. So brilliantly done.

[Harvey Bentley]

This could easily become a really cool song. I like it, very catchy indeed.

[BeeBev]

A very catchy poem, really enjoyed reading this. I like the repetitiveness of some of the words as it helps give the poem an upbeat rhythm.

[AaronFreitas]

I really like the line "I may be trapped within my mind, I'm not a delusion" I feel those words hit deep and can relate to them. Nice work and thanks for sharing.

[Leviathus Fortes]

Can we see beyond the illusion?

The answers is yes.

We just have to open our eyes.

[Coyote Poetry]

I questioned my life often. Many times I have stopped and wonder did one life matter?
"I may be trapped within my mind:-
I'm not a delusion.
'Twas perhaps the works of the Blind:
your only illusion."
Illusion or delusion. I believe we must live and go forward. Today I'm watching three grandchildren. I see what I will leave behind. I became my Grandfather and I hope I can set the example for my children. Old Native American saying. "Our children are what we leave behind. Teach them well."
Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Jamestown]

Well done, great flow and thoughts! Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[Kasey Miriam]

I like the flow, but with a short poem like this the repetition of words really drowns the strength of the poem and makes your rhyme scheme seemed forced.

[Paper Forks]

the rhyme scheme was forced. I'm experimenting a bit to see if I could use the same rhyming words over and over without the meaning being redundant. Thank you for reading! I appreciqre

[Paper Forks]

I appreciate the critical review.

[Kasey Miriam]

You are welcome. I try to give constructive reviews because anything else is not worth much

[Ngoc M. Nguyen]

This is a very good poem (we appear to have similar tastes in poetry composition). Keep writing. You are clearly on a good path, in my critical opinion. Thanks for the excellent read! Ngoc.