One Lonely Night

A darkness came over me that few can understand. And if it were not for the many distractions of life, it would overwhelm me.

I stand in the darkness alone

waiting for someone to shine a light

I can't find my way, the darkness is so close

I feel for a path to guide me

but the dark won't let my eyes focus.

Sometimes I lie down to rest

and in my dreams I can see a small light

and it looks like its heading for me, but

its so far in the distance

I get up and run toward it

I can feel my heart hammer in my chest

as my pace quickens

my breathing labored between the sobs

and for a moment I can see my salvation.

So blinded by its light that I see

I barely understand its turning

when it finally hits me that it is moving away, I stop in my tracks.

When the light fades

the darkness becomes whole 

and I lose my way 

so cruel that the light should ever come

alone I came into this world

and alone I will leave

from my life's birth in the darkness lay

destiny chose me to be this way

to play out its tricks' to see how much a soul ccan bear

The only reason I know life

 is I feel at times

 the pelt of sleet hit my face

The only evidence of sky for

I cannot see the sun, or stars at night.

Destiny makes me feel shame

for feeling so alone

as if I dont deserve affection

that I should never see the light

the demons torment me

and laugh me to scorn

sometimes I feel like I was not meant to live

 that the day of my death, I lived

So I became the freak

I was supposed to die but something went wrong

the fates left me alone not knowing

what to do with me

that somehow holding all good things

would correct the error of my life

Yet I sit here breathing against all assaults

the freak...

they all tried to rid themselves of me

hoping I would fade into darkness

Is there anyone out there?

Am I truly alone?

or am I just a burden as always?

No one can hear me

He said, "I wish you were never born; you've ruined me life."

 

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

The condition known as loneliness may be the most
prevalent emotion known to mankind and in this poem
we see it as perhaps the most painful feeling we will
ever know.
You have described the feeling of being alone like no
one I have ever read.
Desolation, abandonment, desertion, longing, sadness,
discouragement, you have touched on these and more.
Amazing poem about the human condition.
Thank you ,
----- Eagle Cruagh

[Jack...]

I have held these same feelings at times and I know it doesn't feel good to feel like you don't belong or shouldn't have been. Still this piece was wonderfully written and the pain and torment could easily be felt. This is a poem I became lost in, hypnotized as it were until that last line, that cold slap in the face woke me from my trance. Very nice.

[jerrypat]

Love the absolute darkness of this piece, Liderien. A bitterness capsuled within the lines of this Poeish writing is absolutely overwhelming. It takes me back to parts of my childhood immediately after I found out a dark secret that had been kept from me. For decades afterward I sank into the misery of which this writing infers. To this day the secret has been kept from me and I am quite old enough to die, still I feel like, at times, I died back then only life kept moving on and I kept breathing. I'm probably not making much sense to you, but your poem has brought it all back, although it is never too far from my thoughts anytime.

[Liderien]

What you said does make sense. I'm sorry if it brought you pain.

[jerrypat]

Don't be sorry. Great writing.

[bluessadmood]

just great,the way life is..it gives hope like a shimmering light
after we see lots of darkness,so we we keep running after her
its her game,she hurts a lot,when its too much she smiles
only when we feel a little alive,she hits us again,and again
but i knew the game only too well,and i never played
so she hates me,one of a kind,dont go well with her
she likes to be the boss all times,but no,you wont have it
your way,i will not play by your rules,you are ever so cruel
soften a little or i will not play..like you say dear,times
i am left in the middle not here or there ,not alive or even close to die
i always said the b***h life always is,never fair at her own games
lovely write

[Liderien]

Thank you hon!

[bluessadmood]

you are so welcome,beautiful words,you write with enhanced feelings..
how i understand you so well..all the luck