Mechanical

Mechanical

A Poem by RachelReaper
"

Song I wrote... only the second one, ever.

"

Mechanical

His eyes are cameras

Snapping photos you don't want

Them to take

One loose bolt

He's on the edge

And he's going to break

 

He's the

Coldest and Calculating

Critically evaluating

Robotically cruel

Excuse for a man

I've ever seen

 

He's mechanical

A mechanical heart

And absence of soul

No real mind of his own

Run by a machine for a brain

While slowly going insane

How did I mistake

Pure intentions and strength

For mechanical

 

Well you know you've got

Broken wings and a half-hearted smile

But I've known this for a while

Oh God how did I not believe

What was staring down at me

So obviously

Am I so blind not to see

 

He's mechanical

A mechanical heart

And absence of soul

No real mind of his own

Run by a machine for a brain

While slowly going insane

How did I mistake

Pure intentions and strength

For mechanical

 

Because

He's the

Coldest and Calculating

Critically evaluating

Robotically cruel

Excuse for a man

I've ever seen

 

He's mechanical

A mechanical heart

And absence of soul

No real mind of his own

Run by a machine for a brain

While slowly going insane

How did I mistake

Pure intentions and strength

For mechanical

 

© 2012 RachelReaper


Author's Note

RachelReaper
hey, so I wrote a song, this was just something I wrote kind of quick, but please review because I still want your honest opinion on what you think of it. :) Also, the beat of this song is what keeps it together, the rhythm is kind of jumpy, you know what kind of thing I'm talking about?

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Reviews

I love it...I can kinda see several ways you could illustrate this none are short of awesome. You are really on to something here.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Amazing... kinda hummed Evanescence while I sung this song, love the implications; a robot/ *one loose bolt ready to break*, metal heart and all... well penned indeed :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


RachelReaper

6 Years Ago

I looooooooooove Evenescence!!! Thank you for comparing this to them
Castonovia

6 Years Ago

No problem :p
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Pax
lyrical indeed...an up beat tempo is great...everything you said rings a truth....a robot does not have a soul....
Brilliant write...

Posted 6 Years Ago


RachelReaper

6 Years Ago

screw that guy, and if you want to, just an RR to me. I still want to verbally pummel that guy in th.. read more
Pax

6 Years Ago

its ok....its fine as it is...now change topic this song makes me remember the robots in the movies .. read more
RachelReaper

6 Years Ago

oh, yeah, in I-Robot
Ha , this is good simply lyrical put down I have ever seen. Lovely Well you know you've got
Broken wings and a half-hearted smile
But I've known this for a while
Oh God how did I not believe
What was staring down at me

So obviously

Am I so blind not to see



Posted 6 Years Ago


RachelReaper

6 Years Ago

thank you so much for the review, MOON! :)
Nicely written ! I liked it . Thank you for sharing

Posted 6 Years Ago



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Added on October 10, 2012
Last Updated on October 10, 2012

Author

RachelReaper
RachelReaper

About
Hey!!!!! My name is Rachel, and my unofficial last name is Reaper. I am 14 years old. Blood and kisses to all who review my work, I appreciate it so much and couldn't express to you how much it means .. more..

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