Suffer In Silence

Something I thought of and liked

Suffer In Silence

Plaster a paper smile

On my blue lips

Don't let them see we're

A step away from a slip

Although my bones

May shatter and break

You'll never shake

My golden faith

That everything will be okay

 

Let's pretend for a second

That this makes us stronger

As the days skip past

And we're growing weaker

Doubled over with hunger

Suffer in silence

Because in the end

No one really gives a damn

If you're dying or broken  

 

Don't show your

Fluttering heart is

Shuttering to a stop

Or you're gasping for breath

Never to breathe again

The last thing we need

Is to fuel Fate's fire

And burn it higher

Until we're consumed by the wildfire

 

We'll bleed out

Where no one can

Hear our shouts

But we will not beg

There is no mercy for the dead

I won't bow down

To this furious red pain

Because I refuse

To ever lose to

Life's starvation game

 

Author's Note

please tell me what you think of this i think it is one of my better poems but I would appreciate feedback

Reviews

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

This is a wonderful piece! Dark and deep with a nice flow and rythme to it.
I love the lines:
"Because in the end
No one really gives a damn
If you're dying or broken"

And "There is no mercy for the dead"

Awesome write!

[RachelReaper]

:D THAAAAAANK YOOOUU!!!

[Chance]

This reads nicely. I like the flow and concept. I to think no one cares if your dying or broken but people take note when you live boldly. People rember Nietzsche declaring "God is dead" and preaching to live life dangerously but few think of his death draped over a dying horse progressing over a few years ending in the depths of insanity.

Great as usual Rachel

[Howard Blacklove]

This poem reminds me of women in abusive relationships who are too frightened and in too deep to start over so they where their bruises proudly and suffer in silence. The organization of the lines are nice and easy to follow as well as the occasional rhyme. My favorite verse is the last one..

We'll bleed out
Where no one can
Hear our shouts
But we will not beg
There is no mercy for the dead
I won't bow down
To this furious red pain
Because I refuse
To ever lose to
Life's starvation game

It shows the character learning a life lesson and sometimes its nice to see the character make emotional progress.

[RachelReaper]

I think its very interesting to read back through the comments I got and see different people's interpretations of what I write, it surprised me every time! and sometimes gives me new inspiration, too. As always, your feedback is much appreciated.

[Baby Ricochet]

I love the third stanza. It reads like a chorus. Great job

[Castonovia]

Lyrical, lovely piece with dark aspects to it full of both pride, defiance to not lower your head in the dust, and willpower to survive even though you're close to dying inside... reminds me of survival of the fittest except *life's starvation game.* Hehe, deep and absolutely loved it, it is indeed one of your best :)

[RachelReaper]

thank you !!!!!

[Castonovia]

Anytime ;p

[Harley (arbiter)]

I liked it. A cool and deep read. Good job

[Steven Cash]

Wonderful read

[RachelReaper]

thank you :)