Clearest Nights

emptying my imagination

Clearest Nights

          There is a field, lying beneath a full, luminescent moon. A moon ten times bigger than any star I've ever seen. It offers a welcoming glow, dazzling everything in its view in a pale, shimmering silver.

            In this field, this field I know, it is perpetually midnight. A light, cool breeze occasionally sways through the tall grass and flowers. The flowers there are beautiful in the night sky's gaze, opening up into worlds of navy blue or royal purple. But sometimes you'll catch a glimpse of a cluster of petals white as snow and as pure as a cherub's soft, sweet face.

            Crickets chirp softly, somewhere, off in the distance while I settle down my quilt from home. A quilt with everyone's name that I hold dearly stitched into the warm fabric with crimson yarn. Lazily strolling over to sit beside me is my companion, the albino lion. He nods once, and then curls around my quilt, resting his massive head on his paws .

            I retrieve my pen, my paper, and I begin to write.     

Author's Note

I was working on my descriptive writing for this one, but still wanted to keep it kind of short. This is a description of one of my mental places I go in my head to write.

Reviews

[Baby Ricochet]

Great descriptive piece. I was in it. Thank you

[RachelReaper]

thank ya

[de_maruf]

ohmm

[Pax]

it fits for poetry my friend ~ but either way i find this really intriguing, though short but it speaks as it is... to let the readers wonder to its end or another path for the next chapter.... i see this as a introduction of a starting novel or light novel :)
great work!

[RachelReaper]

thank you Pax

[Poussiere D'Ange]

Oh Rachel I would LOVE to take a trip inside your head! It was beautiful. I have never read descriptions so vivid and beautiful. I loved the idea of the albino lion....it just seems to goperfectly withe the rest. N i love the way you live it up to the writers imagination as to what happens next. It was amazing Reaper just amazing:-):-):-D.

[RachelReaper]

thank you so much!

[Leslie Philibert]

an excellent prose poem with elements of fantasy, magic and also...fine observations of nature.

[RachelReaper]

thank you Leslie.

[Trigorin]

The danger in this piece, I think, is keeping things so short that the piece ends up being pointless. You've quit, essentially, right when things get interesting. The audience wants to know what happens with the lion, what's going on, what the narrator and the lion are doing there, and while your first two paragraphs are really good description, it somewhat peters out because you haven't thought out fully where you want to go with this.

[RachelReaper]

my, you weren't kidding about being brutally honest lolz but my feelings aren't easily hurt and I'm glad you were honest with me. But see, the point of this piece was not to describe everything in absolute detail, not to create a plotline or a world or anything like that, really its more like a poem in the format of a story. The point of this was to show the beauty of a writer's imagination, essentially, even before they begin to write.
I think you would have gotten it more clearly if I had made this into a poem.

[Ari]

what a pretty place to go

[RachelReaper]

only in my dreamzzzzz

[Invisible]

pretty...

[RachelReaper]

thank you

[Invisible]

:D

[marie]

great detail!!:) love this write:) i could clearly see it in my head:) amazing:)

[RachelReaper]

thank you so much marie

[marie]

It's no problem rach:) amazing write:)

[Dark Rider]

For such a small story, the details in it were amazing! The only thing I saw that you might need to edit is: "Resting on his paws," shouldn't it be "resting his head on his paws?" Or maybe you meant to write it like that to begin with. If so, then pay no attion to that. XD But it was really a great story, but that is to be expected. :) Great job!

[RachelReaper]

thanks :)

[Dark Rider]

^^ You're welcome.

[RachelReaper]

oh, and I fixed it

[Dark Rider]

:)