Clearest Nights

Clearest Nights

A Story by RachelReaper
"

emptying my imagination

"

Clearest Nights

          There is a field, lying beneath a full, luminescent moon. A moon ten times bigger than any star I've ever seen. It offers a welcoming glow, dazzling everything in its view in a pale, shimmering silver.

            In this field, this field I know, it is perpetually midnight. A light, cool breeze occasionally sways through the tall grass and flowers. The flowers there are beautiful in the night sky's gaze, opening up into worlds of navy blue or royal purple. But sometimes you'll catch a glimpse of a cluster of petals white as snow and as pure as a cherub's soft, sweet face.

            Crickets chirp softly, somewhere, off in the distance while I settle down my quilt from home. A quilt with everyone's name that I hold dearly stitched into the warm fabric with crimson yarn. Lazily strolling over to sit beside me is my companion, the albino lion. He nods once, and then curls around my quilt, resting his massive head on his paws .

            I retrieve my pen, my paper, and I begin to write.     

© 2013 RachelReaper


Author's Note

RachelReaper
I was working on my descriptive writing for this one, but still wanted to keep it kind of short. This is a description of one of my mental places I go in my head to write.

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Reviews

Great descriptive piece. I was in it. Thank you

Posted 6 Years Ago


RachelReaper

6 Years Ago

thank ya
ohmm


Posted 6 Years Ago


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Pax
it fits for poetry my friend ~ but either way i find this really intriguing, though short but it speaks as it is... to let the readers wonder to its end or another path for the next chapter.... i see this as a introduction of a starting novel or light novel :)
great work!

Posted 6 Years Ago


RachelReaper

6 Years Ago

thank you Pax
Oh Rachel I would LOVE to take a trip inside your head! It was beautiful. I have never read descriptions so vivid and beautiful. I loved the idea of the albino lion....it just seems to goperfectly withe the rest. N i love the way you live it up to the writers imagination as to what happens next. It was amazing Reaper just amazing:-):-):-D.

Posted 6 Years Ago


RachelReaper

6 Years Ago

thank you so much!
an excellent prose poem with elements of fantasy, magic and also...fine observations of nature.

Posted 6 Years Ago


RachelReaper

6 Years Ago

thank you Leslie.
The danger in this piece, I think, is keeping things so short that the piece ends up being pointless. You've quit, essentially, right when things get interesting. The audience wants to know what happens with the lion, what's going on, what the narrator and the lion are doing there, and while your first two paragraphs are really good description, it somewhat peters out because you haven't thought out fully where you want to go with this.

Posted 6 Years Ago


RachelReaper

6 Years Ago

my, you weren't kidding about being brutally honest lolz but my feelings aren't easily hurt and I'm .. read more
what a pretty place to go

Posted 6 Years Ago


RachelReaper

6 Years Ago

only in my dreamzzzzz
pretty...

Posted 6 Years Ago


RachelReaper

6 Years Ago

thank you
Invisible

6 Years Ago

:D
great detail!!:) love this write:) i could clearly see it in my head:) amazing:)

Posted 6 Years Ago


RachelReaper

6 Years Ago

thank you so much marie
marie

6 Years Ago

It's no problem rach:) amazing write:)
For such a small story, the details in it were amazing! The only thing I saw that you might need to edit is: "Resting on his paws," shouldn't it be "resting his head on his paws?" Or maybe you meant to write it like that to begin with. If so, then pay no attion to that. XD But it was really a great story, but that is to be expected. :) Great job!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Dark Rider

6 Years Ago

^^ You're welcome.
RachelReaper

6 Years Ago

oh, and I fixed it
Dark Rider

6 Years Ago

:)

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Added on April 18, 2013
Last Updated on May 2, 2013

Author

RachelReaper
RachelReaper

About
Hey!!!!! My name is Rachel, and my unofficial last name is Reaper. I am 14 years old. Blood and kisses to all who review my work, I appreciate it so much and couldn't express to you how much it means .. more..

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