Saving Peter

"Come" he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

I kind of want to disappear beneath the covers for a few hours

and lay my head on my pillow

and try to figure out this asphalt paved ocean

that is currently stagnating through my veins

and swallowing up every tide and current

and movement that could create

some sense of           connection

and satisfaction 

with my soul.

It's too bad that I've almost given up.

Sometimes this pillow is used much more for resting

than thinking. Especially when my frustration turns to

              tidal pool graves

                       and I no longer 

                       have the power 

                      or the will to do 

         anything but close my eyes and sleep.

                            I want you to send a hurricane through the very 

                       depths of my soul so my heart and mind burst  

               with an oceanic roar that no hope draining 

          thought or expectation could

       contain. A sound that erupts

    into exponentially growing white

 bubbling foaming crests that swallow up the dark, bottomless sea.

I want to pour out

what you pour in

but right now I'm all shut up,

closed up, dried up,

ready to give up

so won't you stand up

so I can see you walk across these life drowning waters.

Reviews

[michelle-entendu]

crying.