Homeward found.

Homeward found.

A Poem by Pixieblue

I was thinking today about people lost and found dead at war, or just missing childeren and loved ones who have been found in not the greatest circumstances.

Ill sit at the door and wait for your return,
ill look out the window at the passing cars,
ill whisper to the moon and stars.

They tell me that your gone forever,
and ill wait forever and a day,
every day is forever now that you are far away.

The night sky is crying with me,
they cant find their shining son,
they tell me that the fight I'm fighting never shall be won.

The day is getting dreary,
the future is so bleak,
every day is torture and I'm dying every week.

Your scent is on the sofa,
your clothes still lie around,
waiting to be worn and loved one day when you're found.

I received a letter in the post,
news of your lost part,
it tells me you are found at last just without a beating heart.

© 2015 Pixieblue

Author's Note

I really would like to hear some advice on this one and just general if anyone has had any experiences like this.

My Review

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Did you write this after watching we were soldiers? It's very general, don't you think? Who is the person you are waiting for? A brother? A son? An uncle? What is a lost part, part of what? Platoon? Plane crash? I'm confused. Dreary, bleak, if you added weary I was going to blow an E.A. Poe gasket. Thankf for not doing that. Um, overall I'd like to hear more with more specific examples to texturalize the prose and not sweeping generalizations which I feel leave the reader without something real to grab onto.

Posted 8 Years Ago

''it tells me you are found at last just without a beating heart.''
I got the shivers, i looked at your profile and it's scary how we are alike.

Posted 8 Years Ago

this was really good

are you British?

Posted 8 Years Ago

I like the formatting with this one. The rhyme scheme you used here is new for me. I mean, I knew it was possible (lol), but I've never seen anyone use it before so it was very original. It's very sad and an unfortunately unrelated story. I think this is wonderful. I actually have no suggestions for this. Thanks very much for sharing it with me :)

Posted 8 Years Ago

I like it, all that longing and a cool rhyme that adds some darkness and playfulness that balances the bleakness. cool. I saw u were a musician. I like singing and writing lyrics so, so much more than stupid poetry!

Posted 8 Years Ago

This is heartbreaking. I can say I've never had anything like this, but I'm happy to say so. I don't know what it feels like, but your poem gave me an inside view on the shock one might receive. That within itself makes this poem great.

Posted 8 Years Ago

I like the meaning and purpose of this write. I haven't had any experiences with this fortunately but you did a really good job expressing the pain. Good write my friend :)

Posted 8 Years Ago

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7 Reviews
Added on May 10, 2015
Last Updated on May 10, 2015
Tags: you, him, people, lost, found, sad, gone, home, return, stars, sky, night.



kent, gravesend, United Kingdom

I'm Leah. Here's a few things to know about me: I'm an artist. I'm a musician. I'm a writer. I have ADHD. I'm dark at heart. I think everyone is wonderful who knows how to love and be loved/ .. more..

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