Lemon Tea / Cherry Tree

Lemon Tea / Cherry Tree

A Poem by Karina Longo
"

Lyrics - experimental, alternative-like.

"

wake up in the middle of the night

the room is quiet,

please don't turn on the light

i'm having nightmares being awake

need to get some sleep to pretend that i'm safe

 

fish bone, aching my spine

paranoia invading your mind

nobody is wrong, but i'm never right

drink some lemon tea and give up the fight

 

wake up to see the sunset

my eyes burn the closer i get there

i tell i want it, but i feel so damn afraid

throw all the dreams in the river,

they're flowing away

and it's okay

no, no, no - it's not okay

 

in my whole life i never saw a cherry tree

if i could buy something,

i'd buy happiness for you and for me

the real demons they are out of here

they're just the unknown part of all of your fears 

______________________

authentic admiration

May 8, 2011


© 2011 Karina Longo


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Well as far as technicals go they are all fairly obvious, you didn't capitalize anything and lacked most punctuation aside from a few commas. The Grammar was all good though (I think). The lack of capitalization on 'i' could be a statement however, referring, perhaps, to how small you feel, or some such thing. I have seen them used with that intention (or a similar one) many times before...well not many, but a few. As lyrics they lack a chorus, not that it is always a bad thing, but something to consider. Otherwise I think this is a very well written peice. Excellent work

Posted 9 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is pretty good, poetry-wise. I would consider editing the grammar of the piece, but I'm sure you've heard that before, so I'm not going to labor that point. Over all, I was interested in the entire piece. It was a good read, and I liked how strong your metaphors were. Good job!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow so beautiful. Just amazing. If this was a song I would listen!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Haunting. These are lyrics? I wish I knew the tune intended to go with it, but as it is, it is an interesting piece with a sadness and sorrow. The image of the cherry tree, coupled with the comfort of tea, put a slightly homey/romantic spin on it, giving a greater depth. I'm not sure I understand completely what it is you intended with this poem, but I could put my own interpretations on it, which gives it a more widespread theme and a wider audience. I liked the simplicity of the writing, contrasting the complexity of the theme. You didn't overwhelm it with overly-elevated diction or precise form, or unnecessary punctuation. This worked well to offset the intense emotions and allows the common person, as well as the uncommon, to enjoy this. Well done.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
A
This is also new and refreshing, In my opinion it will make a great lyrics for a song, and it will be successful, it's pretty eye-catching.
Well done.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The demons haunt us and keep us from our dreams.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I like it and the great thing about poetry is its more about style then technicals... The content is great, the flow is consistent and the over all lyrical formatting is superb. This is a marvellous write and extremely well written. i do recommend though that if this is a poem for a professional consideration you might consider fixing your gramatical and punctuational errors, but to me in my honest oppinion it doesnt sacrifice the content. Great job

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Well as far as technicals go they are all fairly obvious, you didn't capitalize anything and lacked most punctuation aside from a few commas. The Grammar was all good though (I think). The lack of capitalization on 'i' could be a statement however, referring, perhaps, to how small you feel, or some such thing. I have seen them used with that intention (or a similar one) many times before...well not many, but a few. As lyrics they lack a chorus, not that it is always a bad thing, but something to consider. Otherwise I think this is a very well written peice. Excellent work

Posted 9 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

I felt a connection with this poem…lemon tea and cherry tree…it reminds of transitions in life. It was relatable, simple, but sophisticated in delicacy.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The point of view was very original. I like the way you took
reality and turned it inside out. Great vision.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very good. Love the demons part.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1119 Views
17 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on February 23, 2011
Last Updated on June 21, 2011
Tags: lemon, tea, cherry, tree, lyrics, folk, experimental, alternative, rock, nicky wire, happiness, fears

Author

Karina Longo
Karina Longo

Further Away, Somewhere



About
More about me: Music I like: Manic Street Preachers. Depeche Mode. Chris Cornell. Soundgarden. Smashing Pumpkins. Suede. Pulp. Oasis. The Clash. Tears for Fears. Stereophonics. John Lennon. Da.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..