Those Broken Cellar Doors

Those Broken Cellar Doors

A Poem by LivingDeath
"

A memory... A flashback I just had.

"
I remember an old cellar door
weeds rising from the hill above it,
scattered.
There were dying sun flowers amongst them.
The ashen colours 
of the clouds against the incandescent moon.
The breeze lifelessly dancing through the echoes of leaves,
turning to dust in my hand.
The voice of the wind 
bouncing on the insides of my ear,
making a howl like the coyote in the distance.
Moist grass clung to the bottoms of my bare feet,
the midnight dew
reflecting the moons soft rays of colourless light,
over the trees that would sing at the unlit skies.
Darkness surrounded me..
Standing beneath the earth,
before me the cellar door stood,
lonely,
cold,
and alone.
The roots of time 
growing down the roof,
tarnished from dirt and grime.
It's doors were open but I dared not go in.
No light would ever touch this place.
No moonlight glow
or sunlit sky.
In the shadowed darkness I remember
those broken cellar doors,
what laid there after I will not know
but the echoes from within.

© 2011 LivingDeath


Author's Note

LivingDeath
Just writing what was on my mind.

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Reviews

Amazing write ! I love the layout, it accentuates the words perfectly; such a strong vocabulary. And a strong ending as well ! I could see the whole story played out clearly in my mind's eye and I was taken on a journey. Very interesting and fun to watch. 100/100 !

Posted 9 Years Ago


Nice write. I like the form and great imagery..xx

Posted 9 Years Ago


As you guide the reader through memory and thought images develop of the haunted place, shrouded in darkness your words hold a melancholy that is contrasted with the beautiful description of senses through the surrounding world. In the midst of darkened life the darkness emanates from this door, as though it is a part of the mind forgotten about, not visited for fear of what might be. A fear lodges itself in your bones at what could lie beyond the door of secrets and deceit. So many ways to approach the poem, love it.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I loved the structure and the imagery, you painted a beautiful picture. This was amazing. Great job.
♥ Ta'Shandra

Posted 9 Years Ago


I like the whole structure. The imagery is absolutetly terrific. I really enjoyed it ^-^

Posted 9 Years Ago


This is very beautiful and you painted an amazing picture. The images were set wildly afire in my mind, and though I cannot discern whether your memory may hold positive or negative feelings, I yearned to be there after reading through it. I was drawn to it. It was not as if I was reading a poem about it, but rather as if I were watching it happen from afar. I am extremely impressed, Ty.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Your structure's cool, like a winding stairway up to the heavens. It doesn't half do my head in reading it, though xD This poem is very sensory, I could feel myself being in this place. My only bit of advice is to maybe steer away from the cliches a bit more, like 'darkness surrounded me' and 'the echoes within'. They're not cliches, as such, it's more that sounds like you're trying too hard to make it eerie. But apart from that, it's a beautiful piece.

Posted 9 Years Ago


This was eerily beautiful. I could relate. Nice poem.

Posted 9 Years Ago


great poem....^^,

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on August 10, 2011
Last Updated on August 10, 2011

Author

LivingDeath
LivingDeath

Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada



About
"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not." ~Kurt Cobain. Wasssup guys! I am me, if you want my name, ask me for it. Life in every breath, is my motto. 22 years old, living .. more..

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