Blood & War

It speaks for itself...another rant...venting is good for the soul! =/

 

Hear the rapid booms in the distance of bombs being dropped.

Hear the screams of the innocent for the bloodbath to stop.

The marching of soldiers with guns held high,

Into the city where all shall die.

 

People who’ve done nothing worth punishing,

Will now be punished for what their leader is doing.

We take out the sentence on unfortunate souls,

Then bury the bodies in shallow holes.

 

Why do we punish the sick & the poor,

& send out good men to fight a fool’s war?

Children who before knew nothing but peace,

Now weep upon their dead mother’s feet.

 

The soundtrack of the world today,

Is screams in the night & sobs in the day.

It’s a sick, revolving carrousel.

What once was heaven now is hell.

 

Hear the cracking & snapping of bones,

Hear the rumble of crumbling stones.

Buildings collapse beneath the weight,

Of the world’s inevitable, bloody fate.

 

Written by,

Elizabeth Ann McClure

(copyrighted)

Author's Note

This is sad....wow it's making me depressed...=/

Reviews

[L.G. Knight]

HOLY COW THIS WAS GREAT! ok I'll stop shouting now this was so unbelievably wonderful i loved the rhymes the flow and the ever so needed topic matter the worldsbeen fighting wars for centuries upon centuries and those who die are the inocent bystanders just going about their daily lives and laying those down for the beliefs of another.... wonderful wonderful wonderful write!

~Frances~

[~Qu33n B~]

Wow! that was so touching. Seriously I was staring open-mouthed at the computer for a while until I could actually type again. It is so true and deep and yet, still put in a few words to describe the years and years of wars. That was excellent!!

[Rebecca Rogers]

GREAT imagery and it rhymes well.

>The soundtrack of the world today
>Is screams in the night & sobs in the day.

So very true!

[Emily Elizabeth]

Fantastic poem. Every word you say rings with so much truth it's almost deafening. The imagery you've used is fantastic- you've mixed in the mundane with the macabre to create something visually and metaphorically horrifying. The red font you've used is also a good touch- red is the colour of war after all. It's very well written and you've chosen your words perfectly. I especially loved the lines:

'Why do we punish the sick & the poor,
& send out good men to fight a fool's war?'

It's a question we always ask ourselves and everyone has different answers. But you've put it so wonderfully there. Very nice poem, well done!

[quill of shadows]

i love it it kinda reminds me of b.y.o.b. from sestem of a down i loved every stansa

[Twinschoice]

Hey Girl, I can't tell you how many times I've read this poem over. It's REALLY, REALLY good sweetheart. You write as if you've seen the world...and I guess through your readings and friends, you just might have. Fear not! You are such a great writer...you are my inspiration.

[Morgan Ashire]

I like this piece. A lot, but there was one part that really just stuck out to me in a bad sort of way. Third stanza, last line. It breaks the rhyme scheme. I have a suggestion that I thought of, but its merely that, a suggestion. Maybe something along the lines of, "children who before knew nothing, but peace, cry out to no one as their mother's lives cease." Something like that that keeps with the rhyming a bit better. All in all, a VERY good piece. If that spot would be removed, I'd consider it perfect.

[FEASH]

ohhh, this was good :)

[Boogieman Alzalaus]

You Already Know My Veiws On This Subject. War Is Pointless. The Only Thing Its been Used For In Reality Is To See Who Has A Smaller Dick. Who Can Create More Death And Decay In The LEaset Ammount Of Time. I Admit, Sometimes War Is Good. But Only When We Are Protecting Ourselves. But If Everyone Stopped Then There Would be No Point To It. So Ya. Its Really Stupid. I Hate Them.

[Irfan Shah]

Is is sad and its a very bold and praiseworthy effort on your part to be so young yet so caring about a topic on which many among us decline to write. Well written poem, its going to go in my favourites. I do have a suggestion though. This stanza has a bit of abruptness (compare its first 2 lines to the last 2):

"A little girl in a closet, trying to hide.
Hears her parents get shot outside.
They find her there & load her up,
With other children on a truck."

You write beautifully...its good too see you writing on such an important issue. All the best