Magic

Magic

A Poem by Vian
"

I remain untouched by demands.

"

Magic



All the flowers in my garden glowing,

Wisteria weaving an enchantment.

Newborn winds arrive here blithely blowing,

From dusk to dawn is a hazy sight lent.

Impressed to my mind is the sorry scent

Of ageless winds that dance at fate's command,

Even before Moon's uncertain ascent.

I remain seated untouched by demands.

So still that I may sink into the land,

Just to sprout up again wise and austere.

Our magicks doing nothing so grand,

With the mind of a tree I will appear.

But trees don't cry and all I do is weep,

I realize that, I'd simply been asleep. 

© 2014 Vian


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Reviews

"Impressed to my mind is the sorry scent
Of ageless winds that dance at fate's command"
Great poem, I read it twice, and it danced in my mind for awhile, good poem.

Luna.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Vian

6 Years Ago

Thank you very much for reading my work.
La Luna

6 Years Ago

My pleasure :)
I truly loved this part "I remain seated untouched by demands.
So still that I may sink into the land,
Just to sprout up again wise and austere."-

The best part I feel is that you add that you realize you weren't a tree, because trees were never "awake" so therefore we can only have peace while "asleep" not inherently as trees do, it's so dark but spiritual at the same time, you captured that beautifully.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Vian

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much for reading and finding pleasure in my work.
"you can be my anything but not my enemy. you don't want to play with MAGIC"
this is marvelous...stupendous it is phenomenal.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Vian

6 Years Ago

What are those words in quotations? Thank you for the kind words and for the moment of time- both wh.. read more
Sibusiso Xtdo Gama

6 Years Ago

i took them from a song this poem reminds me of..
Amazing! It reminds me of Alice in Wonderland/The Garden of Amahara.
I love the word choice and the imagination weaved into this.
It truly is like magic.
Enchantingly played! ^^

Posted 7 Years Ago


Vian

6 Years Ago

Thank you for taking a moment to read.
Bluefire

6 Years Ago

You're welcome. ^^
Envisioning yourself as foliage fixed in a certain point and perceiving the transitioning from dusk to dawn, a clear symbol for the hope harbored and borne once things seem much more brighter. I like this, simple, yet having a dreamlike effect.
I feel that your ending is dispassionate though, like it lacks the intensity of which your poem inhibits. It would seem to go much better if you don't say it's a dream because I felt many of the things said here were perceptions that your speaker harbors of himself, not a dream that your speaker has lived through. But that's just personal, no need to consider my opinions (I have a knack for having unpopular opinions, if you haven't noticed yet).
Well done, Vian, really. Good luck to you!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Vian

6 Years Ago

I don't know how I feel giving my opinion. As the author I should hold back from commenting on the i.. read more
I think you have a good chance at winning. Good Luck .just check this line first /Our magicks doing nothing so grand,.Magic grammer error? enjoyed your poem very much.
-maria rose

Posted 7 Years Ago


Vian

6 Years Ago

Thank you. Magicks are plural on purpose.
But trees don't cry and all I do is weep,
I realize that, I'd simply been asleep.

I really enjoyed this poem. Great work here ^-^

Posted 7 Years Ago


Vian

7 Years Ago

Thank you so so so much! I have to submit before midnight and I am so glad to have gotten an opinion.. read more
Shaquana Adams

7 Years Ago

You're welcome ^-^

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Added on April 1, 2014
Last Updated on April 1, 2014
Tags: Fate, Tree, Dream, Demand, Magic, Flowers, Fae, Nature

Author

Vian
Vian

PebbleTown, Snowflake Chasm



About
Lord Vian is a resident of the Human Cage, as He's sure most who can read this are. This Lord unfortunately suffers from Binge-Writing and has a tendency to ignore the thing called 'Life' when consume.. more..

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