Stubborn Horses

Stubborn Horses

A Poem by Lorenn
"

A free style poem about the negative thoughts that cut loose one night and thundered away.

"

I walk asleep
and sleep myself awake
My dreams more real
than life's reality
But chin  up...
chin up
No need to crack a frown
Just pull a happy smile
for nothing and still
nothing will happen
But others will be
satisfied
at not having to witness
my dire
Your dire
And the fleetingness of it when
little pockets of sun shine
march through unbidden
then gone
Till when?
When I wake up
Or when
I fall asleep
 

© 2009 Lorenn


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Featured Review

you have some lovely imagery in here, but this poem seems to stray from it's path.
I would suggest removing the top paragraph part, since it only fore-shadows the middle part. Sam goes for the bottom part.

You've accomplished the same thoughts in the middle section, so the ending is repetitive and takes away from the middle section.

Onward

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

you have some lovely imagery in here, but this poem seems to stray from it's path.
I would suggest removing the top paragraph part, since it only fore-shadows the middle part. Sam goes for the bottom part.

You've accomplished the same thoughts in the middle section, so the ending is repetitive and takes away from the middle section.

Onward

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 31, 2009
Last Updated on May 31, 2009