Demons

Demons

A Chapter by Louis McKraker
"

2014

"

I can't explain just how this feels.

   It's like fever pain without the chills,

When these demons line up like this,

   Along the edge of my bed, just to get a whiff


Of the one they cannot control,

   The one they can't even guide,

The one they tried to run off the road,

   And the one and only that has survived,


   (and maybe the only one

     they haven't tried twice).


And while this isn't a holy chorus, no,

   I'll still abide there's more for us, though

Than these demons would ever let show,

   More than they themselves would ever know.



© 2019 Louis McKraker


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I like the thought here Louis. I quite like the rhyme and slant rhyme that you've used and the premise of the poem shines. Not all demons are from that other realm, most of them dwell in that space between our ears.
That third couplet...although you would think it off-putting...actually jumps out, turns the narrative a bit but comes back to the idea with your closing verse.

Well done.

Posted 11 Months Ago


The title caught my eye, I had an eerie dream last night, the demons weren't at my bed but outside of my bedroom window and then the door. I can relate to the feeling that you convey through imagery, and I love the positive and hopeful ending of the final verse.

Posted 11 Months Ago


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7's
everything's great and simply written being true again.. but that fourth line..
during changing the verses in continuity, it loses its perfect rhythm..
i like your works more with your effective use of even syllables...

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Louis McKraker

1 Year Ago

I think I'm with you on this, Praveen. I does tend to throw the rhyme off a little. That some times .. read more

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Added on January 10, 2019
Last Updated on January 13, 2019


Author

Louis McKraker
Louis McKraker

NC



About
My name is Louis McKraker. I was born in Central Alabama and began writing at age nine. I don't have much to say about myself, except I'm a Piscean. I prefer poetry over prose. I love storytelling... more..

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A Chapter by Louis McKraker


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A Chapter by Louis McKraker


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A Chapter by Louis McKraker