The Wind (and Him)

The Wind (and Him)

A Poem by Louise-Charlotte

Slowly woken up
By the changing light in the room
And the sound of a vivid wind,

The man I love
Still full of dreams
Lying beside me,

I look through the window
At blurry and moving trees,
And small white waves on gray water.

Branches and leaves
Paint a palette of greens.
Luminous impressionism.

The wind,
Now stronger,
Anchors the present
Deeply into my ever-marveling soul.

I turn towards
The wonderful human being
I belong to.
He opens his smiling eyes �"
Green gray.
They contain everything I see
And everything I am.

I put my hand on his warm forehead.
The wind sings louder. 

© 2016 Louise-Charlotte

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I do not know if you are a writer of free verse and if you are, you can ignore the following part as it does not apply to free verse poetry. While the poem has a vivid imagery and a good description, it lacks in rhythm. The latter can be achieved with different forms and structures. You could experiment on that: try adding an alliteration, anadiplosis or some assonance, or whatever you feel might improve your writing experience.
Bien cordialement,

Posted 7 Years Ago


7 Years Ago

I do write free verse poetry, some very abstract sometimes actually. But I still welcome your review.. read more

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1 Review
Added on January 25, 2016
Last Updated on January 25, 2016



Paris, France

English isn't my native language, French is, but I fell in love with it 15 years ago and my knowledge of and passion for it grew with each new piece of American culture my opened eyes and ears came ac.. more..