The Wicked Lost

The Wicked Lost

A Story by Logan Turner

A short story that is more of just a interesting event. I tried to create strong emotions and descriptions rather than a defined plot. Thanks for commenting.


 The tree swayed slightly under the heavy pressure of the raging wind, its huge limbs creaking ominously against each other. With wicked speed a tiny creature sped without fault through the trees. Its piercing eyes darting and dogging as it moved over and under the thick bramble of foliage.

            It was near, very near. The tiny creature’s heart pounded heavier than ever against it’s chest. It’s clawed hands and feet growing warm in spite of the torturously cold air that attacked every fiber of its body. Yet the creature could not ignore, it was too easy. So many it had fought and out run to reach this final treasure, so many would have killed for this, and yet… Not a single on of its many enemies had shown themselves or tried to stop him.  Could it be simple good fortune that he was the first to find the greatest treasure of all? No, it did not believe in luck, only hard and pure reality that it could hear and see.

            Whatever was going on however it did not have any power to find out what, it was too close to leave, too long had it hunted and risked its life to flee at the last moment. Pressing onward the creature forcefully thrust the thoughts of failure out of its mind, focusing instead on the path ahead.    

            As the storm raged even harder battering every single surface open the creature had finally reached its final destination, the final goal of its life. In the shelter of a particularly strong overhanging branch the creature started to round the colossal curve of the tree. The creature’s body was almost vibrating with anticipation, so close…

            It froze, the creatures eyes locking on the place where it was, but, but, NO. Nothing but a half dead cluster of braches circled around in the perfect shape to hold a small rounded object. It was impossible, the creature was the first, it had to be, it had always been one step ahead. Then like the crashing of a vast wave it hit the small creature, full, unconditional reality sweeping through its mind.

            It had lost, been beat by those he knew were lesser beings. Doomed to all eternity in the hell of all hells, to live in pain and weakness that it would have to bear forever. The creature, too shocked to think and too stunned to move, fell like a lifeless rock upon the branch.  It seemed to freeze almost instantly to the already cold wood, but it did not care, it would never care. Doomed forever, never to die, and even worse never to really live. The tiny creature, had, in every sense, lost. 

© 2009 Logan Turner

Author's Note

Logan Turner
Sorry for any grammar errors, I like the writing more than proofreading.

My Review

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I must say I'm not a fan of pure emotional works, but this one is very nice. Nicely written, the beginning felt like autumn to me.
Then with the creature that was really dramatic. Will it get it or will it be beaten. That was really nicely done with the sad ending. Something that might seem insignificant for us might mean the world for some other creature.

Posted 11 Years Ago

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Added on March 25, 2009