Under Control

About how having hope and keeping strong can help you get through depression.

Hello, 911?

I’d like to report an attempted murder.

Yes a murder.

On whom? Me of course.

Sure, I’ll tell you what happened.

 

I was just enjoying life, the world and all that’s in it;

I wasn’t harming anyone, not one bit.

And out of nowhere came this shadow; large, scary, and daring.

At first it wasn’t bothering me in any way, so I found myself not even caring.

Soon, however a hand reached for my throat and grabbed me.

Holding on so tight, tears formed in my eyes and I could no longer see.

I was scared; flailing my arms and legs all over the place,

Trying so hard to catch a glimpse of his face!

There was a point where I thought his grasp was loosening and I tried making his hand slip,

But he knew what I was trying to do, so he tightened up his grip.

I thought I was done; a dead girl for sure.

My faith for life was dying and my belief of death was pure.

As I started to give up, I swear,

I heard my heart begin to tear.

Growing impatient for Death to arrive, the man took out a sharp, rugged tool,

So he could finally end me; so frightening, so cruel.

But my friend Hope and her sister Strength came out of nowhere to save my life.

They took him down before he could stop my heart with his knife.

 

The name of the one that tried to kill me? His name is Depression, sir.

But don’t worry. We’ve got him under control, and soon, things will go back to the way they were.

Author's Note

Please be honest.

Reviews

[Nath]

This is really amazing! I really liked the metaphor and the plot around it. You catch the readers attention from line one and chase them on to the last line. Also, I think you found a way to describe depression perfectly. The flow is great, too, which makes it an awesome poem overall.

[Luciole]

Awww thank you! :)

[Nath]

My pleasure :-)

[Siena - Silent Awakenin..]

Very strong emotions displayed here, loved it... keep writing!

[Destinyxi]

Really touched me. My grandma was diagnosed with depression a week ago. Really nicely written :)

[Tabitha t]

I really like this take on something that is completely a part of peroples reality. great job and I enjoyed this very much. kudos

[Dearantlers]

WOW! I loved how you started out by calling 911. It got me hooked. I wanted to know why. At first I was wondering why this was a poem rather than a story, but by the second stanza I knew why. Rhyming scheme was great! I loved how you personified Depression and made him seem to be a person. I also loved how Hope and Strength saved the person at the end. It was perfect! Very well done, and I loved it!

[SlightlyOdd]

I like the premise and how you describe the depression and hope and strength.

[Aravind]

I love the heavy focus you have put on the plot, I mean the content here! I was clearly expecting a mystery to follow (can't help it, too obsessed with mystery novels).

I liked how the poem shifted gears so suddenly after the first stanza. Nice technique Luciole. Used the words wonderfully, managed to keep the flow and still maintain that focus on the content. Never seen anything like this. You have done very well. Very glad that I got the opportunity to read this! Thank you for such an amazing read.

I hope to see more of your work! Please keep it coming. I just love such perfect and unique poems. Good job!!!!

[Dr Ayaz chandio]

wonderful....very well described.i loved it..thanks

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Luciole,

Let me first vent my biggest surprise and then get to content. I was shocked at the easy and masterful command of punctuation. Your knowledge here surpassed the norm on WC by an amazing margin. Very, very, well done.

Now, this amazement aside, I found the piece so very approachable, perhaps because of the wonderful command of language.

It was an easy read--so digestible. And the poems message, when discovered, was also wonderful!

Excellent poem that was greatly enjoyed. Very high marks from the language skill alone. Content only adds!

Best regards,

Rick

[Angelic Surrender]

WOW. just... wow.