Its not like i care, it's not like i dream...

Its not like i care, its not like i dream 
Then help me because i do not seem 
To comprehend whats happening. 

Its not like i care, for i stooped those dreams 
Then why is it that my eyes still see you 
Caressing feelings of vivid silver streams. 

Its not like i care, I hate imagining all those things 
The nonexistent feelings flooding me as i drown 
Nothing to keep me up, so why no go down. 

Its not like i care, my crippling wings 
Fear of heights increases the blood loss from that silver dreams 
A tickle of china ,broken down in pieces,sprawled in your feet. 

Its not like I care, its only a vail of lies unseen 
No tears breaking loose from my committed sin 
My dream to be yours, my love unnoticed, wrongly you deem 

Its not like i care, its not like i dream 
I cannot stand you breaking down for another being 
I want your happiness to surface from the darkness boiled within. 

It not like I care, it not like I dream 
My future corrupt, I do not give a damn 
Just you be happy, give me the smile to keep, my memories locked within. 

Its not like I care, its not my right 
To damage your crippling light 
You love another, don't let arguments glide. 

Its not like I care, my wish is to see that even with another 
You are happy, and your feeling holding deep 
Is true, be happy, my life be scorned, just smile, no more tears or angst will bother. 

Its not like i care, its not like i dream! 
I know the extent of your love crawling deep with hunger 
I know that you belong to her, not with me, but with another. 

Its not like i care, its not like i dream... 
Or maybe its still a dream a tiny speck? I cannot let myself fall for that! 
A mere mirage again, get lost, I hate you, I don't care, begone, monster from within!

Author's Note

this is my first poem posted on this site, so i would like to know what you think about it, thank you