All In A Days Work

I broke ground

With my massive, yellow backhoe

Dug deep

Operated the controls

With my hardhat and safety vest on

I filled my dump truck

Yes another heavy load

All in a days work

I`m a grown man

Working hard like my father

All in a days work

I dumped the sand slowly into barrels

The other trucks my friends pour in the limestone

Then add a good amount of water

Mixing cement all day

Making the foundation for houses

All in a days work

I get the job done

I feed many family

Then my mother scoops me up

Carries me over her shoulder

For now guess my work day is over

It`s nap time

Reviews

[Missphit]

That was perhaps the most spectacular ending and one I never expected! I love the childish antics you get at the end of the poem after reading what you think is going to be something entirely different. A boy becoming a man in his own right with momma scooping him up out of his playtime. I truly enjoyed this piece!

[Adora.xo]

Very well done, I think the diction tied in with the childish antics, and the ending was very clever :) Neat piece

[gabrielle]

the ending caught me off guard. =) cleverly written.

[Meliss@k]

Wow. I love this. I was taking a break from reading other people's poems (besides writing my own) because I was getting wayyyyyyy too many read requests (I have over 80 now) but today I decided to read something of my own choice... And as I was scrolling through the recent poems of people I follow, I saw this poem's title and enjoyed that it wasn't (hopefully) going to be about sex, which I feel has overcome most of writerscafe. I read the beginning of your poem still hopin that is was something different than what I had been reading from writerscafe a few months ago and fell in live with the ending of this poem. I didn't expect the ending one bit, but I think that's what made me fall so much in live with this innocent and pure write.
Great work!

[bobc]

L...I agree with another reviewer. Clever little twist of an ending. Thanx...bobc

[rutherford]

Wonderful flip at the end. Clever, simply written.

[Plume de flamme]

loved the what is a real-man undertones in this piece.

[Michael G. Smith]

Nice how your imagination becomes so I live we the reader are drawn into the belief that you are the father working hard. As read this it made remember a day outs.in the Publix parking lot a dad was running a small backhoe with his toddler son on his lap.

[Pryde Foltz]

Ohhhhhh..... That was fantastic. You had me and I was totally looking for the metaphorical meaning and I go it. We do play at our images, don't we?

[Luke L]

I guess so, I wanted to get back into the experience type of stuff, where it`s not all metaphor too much or TOO vague I dunno this s**t might still be a little vague, but I`m working on it

[Pryde Foltz]

It's not vague at all. It's stellar.

[Luke L]

thank you very much :) I want to add a bit more specific detail to my next one though

[Michael G. Smith]

Thanks, without your review Mrs. Foltz I would have never had a chance to read this.

[Pryde Foltz]

Glad I was there.

[Luke L]

Yes thank you very much for your support Mrs. Foltz... and to the academy, and my nose for keeping clean :p

[Pryde Foltz]

That's Ms. Foltz, smartass.

[Luke L]

haha I know, I was joking about that guy calling you Mrs haha

[Luke L]

or how about... "ex-Mrs. Foltz" :p

[Pryde Foltz]

Always been Foltz

[Luke L]

I know :p I'm joking. I'm a comedian. Eh c'mon guy!

[Pryde Foltz]

Tee hee; tee hee

[Luke L]

And I know... you're not a "guy" you have b***s and stuff..

[Pryde Foltz]

and stuff...