hoping against hope

artwork by rutuja padwal

i want to wrap you around my bundle of memories

but like the fuzzy edges of a slowly fading dream

you escape my grasp

i want...no, need... to write it all down

but it seems my pen has other plans

my steady breathing quickens

till it is a sarcoma of fear, regret, and grief

the hum of angst grows louder and more distinct

time to get up

make a cup of tea

hoping against hope 

you will come back to me in another reverie

Reviews

[Neville]

This is a very special poem, & quite different from any other I have read of yours, at least recently dear Lydi**.. without doubt full to bursting with love and hope, but also tinged with more negative understandable emotions that so often accompany loss, or the fear of anticipated loss... a very personal and deeply moving poem indeed..... Neville

[Lydia Shutter]

My Friday night writes do not necessarily reflect the real me, Neville...this one is much more honest. Thank you so much for noticing the difference and for your review. Lydi**

[Neville]

You write so well, it would be impossible to have thought otherwise... virtual hug on its way & true x

[sette]

the passion in the poem is clearly described, the emotions of wanting and yearning to remember and be cherished at the same time is perfectly described

[Lydia Shutter]

Thank you very much, Sette. Lydi**

[Lorry]

Beautiful artwork and description of an almost, not quite taking a grip in memory, which is reminiscent of my youth, when you thought of someone you had just met, knowing you will meet again, but fearful that you have overthought every detail of them so much, you fear you wont recognise them. Like the dream that leaves an echo, to tempt us into hoping it will never disappear from us.
Beautiful, elegant words, as always Lydi.

[Lydia Shutter]

Lorry, what a wonderful review this is! Yes, dreams leave echos....often they are haunting. I appreciate your visit and your thoughts so much. Lydi**

[Lorry]

You are most welcome :)

[emmajoy]

There is writing - both poetry or prose, that defies a reader's guesswork. One can only imagine why, Why the angst, why the deep deep emotion weaving these words? And, should i even try to guess their meaning?

Curiosity doesn't have a place here. WAnt to hold hands or touch with a gentle look. And you, all the while, sit sipping, numb perhaps or riddled with thoughts. Trying to be you. Lydi

[Lydia Shutter]

((((Emma)))) your compassion touches me. No, we can not guess what or whom a poet writes about....but we can feel the emotion and you did. Thank you so much. Lydi***

[Murtaza Kanue]

So beautiful. How do you do it? 😍

[Lydia Shutter]

Murtaza, that is a question no poet can really answer. Thank you for your review. Lydi**

[Chris Shaw]

Such feelings of frustration and anguish in your lines Lydi**.Not being able to recall with clarity what you are needing. That cup of tea is exactly what I would have done in the same circumstances. Poignant lines, grief regret, fear, all come with loss.

Chris

[Lydia Shutter]

Your understanding review means a lot to me, Christine. Thank you. lydi**

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Lydia... sunflowers 🌻 will always brighten your days when you awake and realize that your memories will return when butterflies appear... Your poetry is touched with tenderness. truly, Pat

[Lydia Shutter]

Thank you, sweet Pat. I appreciate your review. Lydi**

[John the Baptist]

The speaker's anguish almost leaps from the page in this one. What I believe we are seeing is a moment of grief recorded possibly within a year of the loss. The mention of sarcoma hints at the cause of death, and the speaker is experiencing the phenomenon of not being able to completely capture the essence, the memory of the lost one. The frustration and pain are almost palpable, and the effort proves too much. We can only hope that time will lessen the sense of loss and warm memories will return. A very moving work.

[Lydia Shutter]

John, thank you so much for your kind and compassionate review. I appreciate it. Lydi**

[Kelly Scheppers]

"...the hum of angst grows louder and louder"...so loud, it penetrates the psyche to respond, react. I love the tethering feeling to this that makes me feel it, too. Another reverie provides reprieve, another day of the week, provides finesse!

[Lydia Shutter]

My dear Kelly, thank you so much. Always happy to have your reviews. Happy Halloween! Lydi**