staring into puddles

staring into puddles

A Poem by Lydia
"

missing my mom

"

photography "puddle roulette" #janathon #day27
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          
it's played more than 10,000 times
on the movie screen of my mind
the last hours i spent with you
the sun was melting the concrete outside
but where i sat ice fell from my thoughts
i wanted to tell you everything would be okay
but i knew it wouldn't be
not ever again
you'd been slowly creeping away
for many months
the bills your body was sending
cost more than your soul could pay
voices of summer soon turned to fall
and as you changed
so did i
why can't i remember you as my vibrant mommy?
tonight i saw it all again
because the worst in life 
somehow squeezes it way into memories
i guess that's why
i find myself staring into puddles
thinking my image left this earth 
the day you did

© 2020 Lydia


My Review

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Featured Review

Reading your words, I am compelled to think of how profoundly one changes as age and ill-health eat away the body. This poem takes me to my own time with my dad who changed from a brilliant surgeon to a senseless, incoherent, terminal case in those last few days.
I also with extreme sadness relate your words to the metaphorical death of relationships...
Written beautifully as always, dear Lydi...

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lydia

1 Month Ago

So sorry you had to watch your dad go through this. I don't think a child every gets over seeing a .. read more
DIVYA

1 Month Ago

You are most welcome, dear Lydi.



Reviews

I only recently found out precisely how this feels and for exactly the self same reason...in spite of that, I doubt I could do such a devastating loss as much justice as you have done. A memorable poem indeed.. N

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lydia

1 Week Ago

Thanks so much, Neville. I am sorry you can identify with the emotions in this one. Lydi**
Lydia, only someone who experienced such tragedy could've written this poem. First, I think it's a fine tribute to your mom. I think those puddles might come from tears. As I read this I thought about the dilemma we face when seeing our loved ones in their last moments, especially if it's been after a long illness.

Our last and often most vivid memories aren't the good ones. So often we think about their pale and shriveled appearance, their struggle to stay awake, smile or just breathe. Yet, we can't allow such love to escape without saying goodbye. I think you've captured that exceptionally well here, and with a love of a daughter.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lydia

1 Week Ago

RE, your review means a lot to me. I took care of my mom for five years before she passed and I hav.. read more
(i find myself staring into puddles thinking my image left this earth the day you did) How well I can relate to these words and the imagery they create in my spirit. Love your work Lydi! ~Sharon

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lydia

2 Weeks Ago

Sharon, you have been a wonderful friend to me in all your reviews for about 15 years. Thank you so.. read more
Thank you for making me feel with this piece. The part where you talked about the bills and the costs broke my heart as here in the UK, healthcare is free, and it sort of makes you forget that around the world people are spending a fortune. Your words are beautiful, thank you.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lydia

3 Weeks Ago

Thanks so much, Darrin. Lydi**
I'm really sorry you feel this way, but thank you for sharing it & making us feel this way WITH you! This is one of the most powerful tributes I've ever read. I like that you bring up the cost becuz that's a huge factor for many people, trying to figure out how to manage and/or for how long. I love that you bring up the poignant phenomenon of how we forget the vibrant being as our senses become immersed in the agonizing downhill journey. This is so real & so powerful! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lydia

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you so much, Margie. We all have our days. Lydi***
Very nice oem about how everyone ages but love alwys stay.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lydia

3 Weeks Ago

Thanks very much, JungLee. Lydi*
I predict eventually those puddles are going to reflect back the images of a far better time and glisten to you:) I will never forget the last time I saw my stepmother alive in the recovery room. The image I saw of her was more beautiful than I had ever noticed her before as I just sat and smiled to her and she smiled back at me a glow came across her face. She seemed so very alive that day I was confident her transplant was a success but she died the next day the one thing I took from that day (and it took me a while to fully understand it) was she looked upon me with absolute acceptance and it was reflected back at me as was my gaze to her. keep looking in that puddle dear Lydia you will see that too

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lydia

1 Month Ago

Thank you so much for sharing that story with me, Robert. Oh, my mom has been gone over nine years,.. read more
Sorry for your loss Lydia. She is in a better place. I can relate for both of my parents have passed away. May you find solace, even in your painful memories. Keep on honoring her sending prayers and such...

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lydia

1 Month Ago

Sami, both my parents, all my aunts and uncles, and cousins have passed. I cherish the memories. t.. read more
Sami Khalil

1 Month Ago

Wow! You are welcome.
' i find myself staring into puddles - thinking my image left this earth - the day you did '

How deeply those lines hit home, Lydi! Our little mum hovers. I i still think of her every day... somehow Is as if she smiles and i feel it, or, touches my shoulder blade as if to say, 'No sitting around, chick.' Okay so that reads theatrical but is truly how it is. Death takes away reality however - not only of one's mother but other people who went through hell when they just did NOT need the indignity of.. Your poem is utterly beautiful but so heartbreaking for you. Only YOU can feel those words and tuck them away til you need pull them from your safe place to briefly stroke.

Dear Lydi.. your words are more than loving.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

emmajoy

1 Month Ago

if okay with you, sending a little (Lydi)
Lydia

1 Month Ago

Always happy to get a nice hug. Thank you, Emma. Back at ya.
emmajoy

1 Month Ago

Received with smiles!

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Added on January 15, 2020
Last Updated on January 15, 2020

Author

Lydia
Lydia

FL



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