smudged memories

happy father's day to all the daddies out there

some memories have vanished now

dropped out of the hole in the pocket of my denims

the ones you said were ready for the trash

all those years ago

an explosion of years has erupted

since our last father's day together

a paroxysm of sorts

truth is though

even with all these wrinkles

and silver strands

i am still your child

your spark of consciousness

in this physical world

my dance card is filled 

with smudged memories

of the days 

when i heard your laughter

saw that small space between your two front teeth

smelled your after shave and felt your love

there is great comfort in knowing 

you wrote the last chapter of your life

just the way you wanted it

and maybe, just maybe

you still know

on father's day and every day

i am forever your little girl

i miss you daddy

Author's Note

the photo at the top of this poem was taken father's day 1994 at a hotel in miami beach

Reviews

[Lorry]

We are all someone's kid Lydi and there is no expiration date included.
I remember swinging from his Popeye arm as a child and having to lift him to bed as a grown up. In between was a life of so many moving parts, guiding and shaping me into who I would become... Although I should point out I'm not blaming how that turned out on him 😀
Sounds, smells and touch come flooding back as a reminder that lay unseen in the photographs, to all but those that lived and remember.
A beautiful and touching tribute.
Now remember to eat up all your dinner, there's a good girl. 😀

[Lydia Shutter]

Lorry, you always make me smile. I know the roles become reversed....because I went through it. Still, I choose to remember the happier times. Thanks so much for the review. Lydi**

[R.E. Ray]

Lydia, I don't tear-up often. But, dang that one brought a tear. I'm blessed to have my father still with us. But, I thought of my grandfathers and the emotions and memories rushed forward. The imagery and emotion in this poem are spectacular. I most admire the sincerity from beginning to end. So sorry I missed reading this one on Father's Day. Great photo, too!

[Lydia Shutter]

Thank you so much, R.E. My dad was very special to me. Sorry I made you tear up though. Lydi**

[R.E. Ray]

You're welcome. That salt on the cheek reminds me I'm human. :)

[Lydia Shutter]

Oh yes, we all have emotions and hiding them is not a good thing.

[emmajoy]

' i am still your child - your spark of consciousness - in this physical world - my dance card is filled - with smudged memories.. .. '

Lydi, crying here.. silly me.. but, your words are so beautiful, genuine. So much more. Hugs.

[Lydia Shutter]

Sweet Emma....you are so empathetic! thank you very much, my friend. Lydi**

[emmajoy]

Smiling, waving. Will be in touch later. Just floating along for a few minutes. Your poem is.. special, love.

[Lydia Shutter]

Waving back at you, Emma....no rush with emailing.

[emmajoy]

Will, later.. tip.toeing into the past routine for now.. Warm everything to you both..

[Patricia Wedel]

Your dance card is filled with smudged memories... how endearing... it is beautiful on Fathers Day to have photos and pen a poem for your Daddy. Lovely photo and words like pressed flowers in a book. tenderly, Pat

[Lydia Shutter]

Thanks so much, Pat. Happy Father's Day to Roger. Lydi**

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Thank you for sharing such a moving picture and heart-felt personal memories of your beloved "daddy" with us Lydi. Yours is an authentic and incredible tribute to a father who may not have been perfect, but whom you loved, and still love unconditionally. You paint his portrait, and journey, in clear brushstrokes for us. Your feelings for him tear-stain the page. I'm sure he is so proud of you and this tender memorial to him. His smile is for you. xo

[Lydia Shutter]

Such a compassionate review, Annette. Thank you very much. Lydi**

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Lydi**, it is nearly thirty years since my Dad passed away, so this tribute to your own Father had me reflecting on my own smudged memories. I have to concentrate really hard now to see the detail, though I often feel his presence. We will always be a Daddy's girl. Age will not alter that. I am so pleased that your Dad's last chapter in life went as he planned it. Your photograph shows you both so happy in each others company. I love your poem.

Chris

[Lydia Shutter]

I was so fortunate to have a great relationship with my Dad. Obviously you had one with yours as well. Remember the good times this Sunday, Chris. thank you so much for the lovely review. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love the poem and teared up thinking of my own dad...
and the photo is great...love your hair...you are a beautiful daddy's girl.
and he is looking down, reading this and beaming.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Ah yes, my hair before the big C stole it. Wish I could grow it like that again! I know you were close with your Dad too, Jacob. Thanks so much for the review and the kind words. Lydi**

[Einstein Noodle]

that ain't no Hallmark card Lydia ... well done! i was the fly on the windowsill listening and watching your conversation with your Da ... deeply personal and touching .. filled with poetry .. love the denim jeans .. the hole and the explosion of years ... well done says i ... we are so fortunate in missing our Fathers .. having been raised with love and care ... so many have not ... you are a wonderful poetess says i ... i think so whenever i read what you share ... this reminiscing is sublime and magnificent a paradox to add to your paroxysm ;) God bless .. love and joy
E.

[Lydia Shutter]

E, I am humbled by your review. Thank you so much. Lydi**

[Einstein Noodle]

;) ......................

[John the Baptist]

I have similar memories of my father. Unfortunately, many don't have such comforts. This is a very nice piece, a sharing of fond memories.

[Lydia Shutter]

Yes, I was very fortunate to have a wonderful Dad. Thanks for the review, John. Lydi**