a disobedient memory

a disobedient memory

A Poem by Lydia Shutter


artwork by sue darius
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          


is it nostalgia
or a disobedient memory?
it seems to be more pixilated
as the years go by
i suppose that's a good thing
because nostalgia can be a festering wound
it's the voice haunting me at dark thirty
the unattended dance
the team that didn't want me
it's a limp carrot sitting in the crisper
years too long
the disappointment traps me
like wet concrete
holding a position of leverage
i am at its mercy
i tell myself i want that damned nostalgia
to spill into the wind 
to travel to parts unknown
and yet
i just can't bring myself
to erase it

© 2021 Lydia Shutter


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Featured Review

Once again, you boggle the mind. Mine, that is. Always impressing me with your word play and the extraordinary execution of it. And then, there's the artwork - how wonderful it lends its shine. Most enjoyed this one, Lydi. My best to you my friend!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lydia Shutter

1 Month Ago

Always a pleasure to see you on my page, Kelly. I hope you are well and enjoying summer. Lydi***



Reviews

It is something i think about all the time. However those memories shaped us . Good or bad we learn to live with them

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lydia Shutter

3 Weeks Ago

Absolutely, Tate. Every moment is a teaching experience...whether we choose to learn or not. Thank.. read more
Tate Morgan

3 Weeks Ago

You’re welcome lydi There are things in my life that give me nightmares. But I remember them. And .. read more
Once again, you boggle the mind. Mine, that is. Always impressing me with your word play and the extraordinary execution of it. And then, there's the artwork - how wonderful it lends its shine. Most enjoyed this one, Lydi. My best to you my friend!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lydia Shutter

1 Month Ago

Always a pleasure to see you on my page, Kelly. I hope you are well and enjoying summer. Lydi***
beautiful Lydi! leaves me breathless ... truly! our memories can play all sorts of tricks and havoc in our ever "now" .. to much time spent captivated by the past robs us eh!? for me .. reading this short, precise and emotive poem is as powerful as any epic Greek tragedy ..
" it's the voice haunting me at dark thirty" love that line!! and i think pixilated memories is spot on .. we warp them ... distort them to fit as time goes by .. the horrors suffered, disobedient, in your poem keep pushing forward as such things are want to do ... until we face them head on .. i love your poem .. very original and hits home in a personal way ... we humans can be funny creatures can't we .. so glad I did not miss this one ma'am! great stuff says i!
E.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lydia Shutter

1 Month Ago

Thank you so much, E. Breathless? I don't want you to pass out, my friend! :) Greek tragedy...we.. read more
Einstein Noodle

1 Month Ago

hugs baby!! ;) .... you have a gift .. it would take me forever to eek out such an expression ... so.. read more
I love the various uses of metaphor her Lydi. They all work really well to make their points in this fascinating poem on memories.

Posted 1 Month Ago


The question you begin with Lydi, is it nostalgia or a disobedient memory just made me have an ahhh! moment, as it all fell into place, that those rose tinted's can be such a blessing and a curse, as mind's random jukebox throws up yet another blast from the past, with not so much as a "may I just surprise the hell out of you please!" For every hidden gem that makes us smile, there is a face that would give an arse a headache, excuse the language.
Do as I do Lydi, remember a time in your youth, any time will do. Now think of that mini you and what they are thinking. I bet you it's not nostalgia, guaranteed!
Also, remembering when candy bars were the size of your arm helps too 😊


Posted 1 Month Ago


' .. because nostalgia can be a festering wound - it's the voice haunting me at dark thirty - the unattended dance - the team .. '

That 'at dark thirty' (perfectly said) is That Time Whenever. Time for a stab in the back or the sound and feel of another broken heart-string. Pain perpetual which for some masochistic reason stays as if welcome. Your words have set me thinking, rightly or wrongly, as if serving as finely written reminders that nostalgia can travel in convoluted circles!

(Fantastic brush stroked hair in that painting")

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lydia Shutter

1 Month Ago

Convoluted circles indeed! Blurring and going in and out....taunting us. Thank you so much, Emma. .. read more
Cannot erase it...but we sure watch it a lot, even when it is pixilated like some shows on Satellite tv...
not a clear, smooth picture....just static and memories how we want to remember them...or not.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lydia Shutter

1 Month Ago

Exactly....and I wonder sometimes if we rewrite nostalgia as the years move on. Thanks so much, Jac.. read more
I loved your poem! Nice style and flow.

Posted 1 Month Ago


Interesting theme here, Lydi. I think many of us retain these less than pleasant memories. Not sure of the reason. Eckhart Tolle says it's because they're part of our identity, and without that identity we're nothing. That may be the truth. I can't come up with an alternative.

Posted 1 Month Ago


Haunting words for memories that in themselves haunt us. I really liked reading your poem. Thank you for sharing your work.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lydia Shutter

1 Month Ago

Thanks so much, Carlos. Lydi**

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Added on June 3, 2021
Last Updated on June 3, 2021


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