Three

Three

A Poem by Miki
"

One, Two, One, Two. All the clocks strike three. Ring Ring, Ring Ring. All the clocks shall chime.

"

One, Two, One, Two.

All the clocks strike three.

Ring Ring, Ring Ring.

All the clocks shall chime.


The people drift,

From far and near,

As the train approaches.

Hustle and bustle,

Onto your train.


You eagerly await,

For the time it arrives.

Three is nearing,

Can't you see?


Three was my death.

No one knows,

No one cares.

So I shall sing,

Till the end of time,

Of the cursed time: three.


One, Two, One, Two.

All the clocks strike three.

Ring Ring, Ring Ring.

All the clocks shall chime.


If only you would look,

Under the train;

Where that fateful event,

Took place.


Three.

I met my demise,

Faced it head on.

It wasn't pleasant,

It wasn't painless.


One, Two, One, Two.

All the clocks strike three.

Ring Ring, Ring Ring.

All the clocks shall chime.


This cursed time of three,

Those cursed forgetful mortals.

All those who have forgotten,

I haven't forgiven.

© 2011 Miki


Author's Note

Miki
This is a poem I wrote from the point of view of a ghost that died at a train station; he was hit by a train and died at three o'clock.

I'm open to criticism; let me know what you think of the poem. Please point out any errors and let me know how I could change it to make it better. :)

-Mikayla W.

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Reviews

I liked this poem. It was dreary and daunting, and the fact that it didn't rhyme gave it a sort of shaken meter. I don't think you should change anything, honestly. The ghost feels out of place, the lines don't rhyme or really fit in a uniform manner, it's cohesive in that way.

Well done.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Hmm, it's intruiging and spooky. It sounds like it came from a slightly deranged person, which I like :D
Great job!

Posted 7 Years Ago


wow this is amazing
i love this!

Posted 7 Years Ago


I liked this. Oddly, enough. It's different from my usual style! Bravo.
Wasn't particularly " rhymey" but it was intriguing. Some of the lines just seemed... a bit out of place.


* 85 *

Posted 7 Years Ago


very good . i like the last part --This cursed time of three,
Those cursed forgetful mortals.
All those who have forgotten,
I haven't forgiven.

Posted 7 Years Ago



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282 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on November 9, 2011
Last Updated on November 9, 2011
Tags: Three, Clocks, Chime, Ring, One, Two, Demise, Death, Forgiven, Forget, Ghosts.

Author

Miki
Miki

Mount Vernon, WA



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