Haunted

 

 

Take all the shadows off my pristine wall

Let me paint and dress myself in glossy case

Banish the mirror with its open cracked face

Shut my ears so no voice in my head can call

 

Let the past be with its endless weary thoughts

Let me hold my own and dance in every hall

Crippled stiletto heels I can still walk tall

Let me build a gold cage of a thousand forts

 

Where is the blues and pain I erased it all

Filled and varnished every crack there ever was

Now I stand here erect I could paint the stars

Pretend there was a summer never a fall

 

Still on starless moonless nights you will find me

Slowly scratching beneath the surface veneer

All my fleece lined finery can’t keep me dear

From the baying voices that won’t let me be

 

I can try to run from the thoughts in my head

Too often now I know the past is not dead

Reviews

[emmajoy]

' .. Now I stand here erect I could paint the stars - Pretend there was a summer never a fall .. '

Wonderfully descriptive, such a great use of metaphors, beautiful tableaux of how!

I think of memories as being experience, lessons learned;once felt or endured they can only guide us in the direction best for the individual. We cant escape, cant wholly forget but can be led along a better path. Perhaps?

[Southern Cross]

Ain't that the truth? I too try to cover my ears to the sound of my heart.. a heart that still keeps beating though all around it seems like wasteland at times. The memories may be relegated to corners of dusty cobwebs, yet the mind never forgets and the heart continues to beat though the rhythm may have changed. You penn emotions so well ..sigh..added to my favs :)

[MOON]

Thanks Clair for the beautiful review. Glad to see you around.take care

[Southern Cross]

Umm.. my name is Nicole but thank you...Pleasure to be here and reading your thoughts :)

[MOON]

Oh dear here I am calling you Clare , think its the second time, apologies Nicole not sure why I thought that was your name won't forget that name it's quite beautiful!

[Southern Cross]

I think it was because Claire gave me my logo pic and she is a fantastic writer as well..Thank you.. you're fine

[Circe]

it's a graceful telling of the pain that stays within us... the strengths we can reach and the past that catches up... seems we can't run away from the truth.. your words are ever self reflective and emotionally aware... they probe inside us.. confronting, but necessary. beautiful work.

[MOON]

Thanks so much for the lovely review.
Glad to see you around.

[The Gero]

Superb. Very tight on the syllable count - makes for great rhythm, many congratulations on this piece.

[MOON]

Thanks so much will stop by soon.
Take care

[Veronica Chandler]

I have chill bumps rising on my flesh; I felt every word deep inside. I can't thank you enough for the ride.

[MOON]

Thank you kindly will review your work soon.
Welcome and take care

[Sirius King]

I can try to run from the thoughts in my head

Too often now I know the past is not dead

very nice

[MOON]

Thank you so much most appreciated.

[SarahV]

Great poem really beautiful and I love the ending stanza, great way to end the poem. Keep up the good work :)

[MOON]

Thank you so much

[Balkaran Sidhu]

Last two lines sums up the poem pretty well...gud write moon

[MOON]

Many thanks , take care

[Pax]

Frist stanza:
~ a renewal of what was upon in the past that still haunts the present…

Second stanza:
~ the past haunts every thought, the heart built halls with protected forts. Such beautiful imagery… despite everything that happen you still end up strong as ever….

Third stanza:
~ a hopeful and a strong individual… its hard to pretend but we all do it to survive and be hopeful as always… your summer never ends my friend, if you just believed in it…

Fourth stanza:
~ how sad, haunted always by this voices… you already had achieved something here by channeling your emotion through poetry…

“I can try to run from the thoughts in my head”
“Too often now I know the past is not dead|”
Last stanza:
~ Love this last line… no matter how we erase our past, often they will just appear in our thoughts haunting us of the memory of what had passed… but then the feeling will not be the same, for you become stronger and more alive than before…. Memories are just thoughts making us aware , that we have learned that and we had survived…

Well done my dear friend…

[MOON]

Thanks Pax my friend.

[MOON]

With those first lines sweetest Moon, you bring, me into a horror poem, wich I adore, somehow, because you write so well about the mirror, with it's open cracked face, as if you almost can't look at your inner core, nor yourself... that banished, and in denial... (ofcourse the caracter could)... it not has to be about you personally.

Second, to be on that high heels, has (for me a personal) aspect, to become higher, as I am just a little woman, it can also mean, that you are not satisfied in life, with the goals you want to reach truly. Again thought provoking there.

The third stanza, again the denial, of all beauty, and musical notes, of love, and living life, that could dance, but didn't. But yet again your strength, arises, and you hold on hope, there... to paint the sky with the stars in it.... (as little treasures) to catch into the future, or as a guiding way, to calculate :)

Then the next stanza, shows me the love you treasured for this very special person in your life. he/she lives like I feel within you, and guides you (even when you don't truly feel this yet). And with the last words, I read, I felt the past isn't dead at all,
You carry it with you, in memories, in genes, in the silently breathe you take...
so "Haunted" ? I think more connected....


Brilliant write m'dear, Wishing you most well, and take care,

- Elisa

[MOON]

Thank you so much for the thorough review and you kind thoughts.Most appreciated.
Take care!

It is my pleasure Moon, thank YOU for this write :) take care!

[AWickedMoon]

This is stunning... Absolutely beautiful.

[MOON]

Thank you for your kind words!