WC: Soldiers Unfortunate

 

So I wrote a little poem

put it on a site

hello darling it’s my own

my  ego’s taken flight

then you came along

looking for a fight

told me

   so many things

 were  not right

 it’s way too long

and boring

my tenses

 and spelling

 all  just wrong

now I began

 to foam

so I’ll just pick

 your bone

Yes, I know you are

 in the ether

let me tell you please

 Sir

I am fragile

someone

 let me have

my fun

While I bash

your head

With  one

 or three

cutting

 stings

there we were

two strangers

Monologues,

 dialogues and

 Lone Rangers

heading for the sunset

 slinging at the hips

I tell you dear

 this place

just gives me

the creeps

online

 attacks

 and defences

 just makes me weep

Now they tell me in Syria

 there is a real war

needing real soldier

 fighting at the door

WC to the rescue

 Bringing muscles

 let’s begin

The way we fight

 online

 Surely we will

 Win

Author's Note

With apologies to Baby Ricochet , copying your style is the sincerest form of flattery.
This is tongue in cheek!

Reviews

[Angel]

I think you have captured the atmosphere around the Cafe in recent weeks. It had already started when I got here, and it leaked all over the place.
Hopefully...(crossing fingers) it is over now.
I


hope.
Very well written...and I'm sure Baby Ricochet won't mind...too much!!

[MOON]

Thanks Angel was a bit of a circus! Take care!

[Shweta Singh]

very interesting read!satire with its own philosophy...
on the lighter note...sometimes it may also happen that while fighting one slaps a pun & the other a joke..extending their way to humor,laughter,silly leg-pulling & a great friendship but the end won't be Syria it'd be like two people fighting in the last bench (in a classroom)& giggling..just like two people having fun in their corner but not letting the armed world know lest it should tear them to pieces!

[Rita L. Sev]

Well stated! We all put our egos out there, and some lose perspective of what is really important. Great poem, Moon!

[MOON]

Thanks Rita for the review will stop by soon. Take care!

[John]

A witty rebuke to all those who try to belittle our efforts to express ourselves. It also carries a serious point, linking war with a dispute over a poem. Sometimes the reasons for waging both are equally trivial.

[MOON]

Thanks John for stopping by, too many egos here sometimes! Take care!

[Angi]

Ha! Oh yes, this made me grin. I have had a peaceful time here so far, but I have seen some skirmishes! Angi~

[MOON]

Thanks Angi for your time, take care!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is written with a wry smile...but there is so much truth, the wars on poetry sites can be as devastating as any physical war.
the barbs, the vicious attacks on our creativeness...it can be discouraging as losing a war's lopsided battle...

and then it leaves the poet thinking..."where do i go from here? or do i even try?"

i have seen too many poets give up the craft because of getting blasted by mean reviewers with no tact.

jacob

[MOON]

Thanks Jacob, sometimes gets crazy on this site ! Take care!

[Holly Mason]

a comical write on a deep subject
truly a gift
thank you for sharing

[MOON]

Thanks for stopping by Holly much appreciated!take care

[SHEEMA HUQ]

written in a comical fashion yet as the poem develops the physical realities and self image/definition/evaluation become more sinister, I really like the way you have used
your language, I'm still trying to understand what you mean by 'fragile'??

Perpetual breakdowns? Losing your marbles? Language skills and abilities to function in the ways that you would wish to?

Only you can answer this one.....

[RachelReaper]

lolz, I'm sure Richochet was flattered. I think the best way to get rid of the people on WC you don't like is just to block them, it seems to work pretty efficiently :) I like your poem and surely all of us can relate, this is WC after all.

[MOON]

Thanks Rachel, take care

[Prritiy]

i liked it. its serious yet written with a humor. :)

[MOON]

Thanks Prritiy glad you enjoyed.tTake care!

[Prritiy]

:)