WC: Soldiers Unfortunate

 

So I wrote a little poem

put it on a site

hello darling it’s my own

my  ego’s taken flight

then you came along

looking for a fight

told me

   so many things

 were  not right

 it’s way too long

and boring

my tenses

 and spelling

 all  just wrong

now I began

 to foam

so I’ll just pick

 your bone

Yes, I know you are

 in the ether

let me tell you please

 Sir

I am fragile

someone

 let me have

my fun

While I bash

your head

With  one

 or three

cutting

 stings

there we were

two strangers

Monologues,

 dialogues and

 Lone Rangers

heading for the sunset

 slinging at the hips

I tell you dear

 this place

just gives me

the creeps

online

 attacks

 and defences

 just makes me weep

Now they tell me in Syria

 there is a real war

needing real soldier

 fighting at the door

WC to the rescue

 Bringing muscles

 let’s begin

The way we fight

 online

 Surely we will

 Win

Author's Note

With apologies to Baby Ricochet , copying your style is the sincerest form of flattery.
This is tongue in cheek!

Reviews

[quinfinn]

you do Ricochet quite well, dear poet! i am sure he is flattered. this is a terrific write, and i know , very well, its message. fight the real wars, let the soldiers do the soldiering. well penned!

[MOON]

Thanks that's it in a nutshell ! Take care.

[quinfinn]

always, you are welcome on my pages....

[Sirius King]

Surely we will Win

...yes wed will

great right!

[MOON]

Thanks for stopping by glad you enjoyed.
Tke care

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Wow!!! Love this side of you!!!

Well done :)

[MOON]

Thanks glad ou enjoyed! Take care.

[Pax]

great job dear Moon... what can i say I'm already speechless... :D

[MOON]

Thanks Pax glad you enjoyed ! Take care!

[Baby Ricochet]

HA! Loved it. Great job Mr Moon!

[MOON]

Ha, no Mr , Sir, thanks glad you enjoyed!

[Quill~]

I like your sardonic style of writing. We are poetic warriors are we not?... wield your pen, dear Moon! We are here to learn, inspire, express thoughts, and release emotions artistically. I say bravo to this! :)

[MOON]

Thanks Quill , thanks for stopping by , this site gets crazy sometimes must be full moon!

[Quill~]

I bet! I've missed out, sounds crazy around here. lol

[Rogue]

-grin-

I'll tell you in the review. That's what the review is right? However, I don't just flay one alive for mistakes, nor for superiority. I just like to help if I am able. That's all. If I don't like a write, I just don't leave a comment. Seems pointless to if I have nothing positive to say or no encouragement to give. This is also why I do not send RR's and rarely do I respond to those sent me. I do not like being cornered, so to speak to come and comment on a piece I may not normally comment on. We all have off days and write dribble. :)

This was an interesting and very relevant piece. Like a group photo.. That we can eventually spot ourself in. Smiling, scowling, holding up a beer, making bunny ears over another's head, a hand on another's behind.. Etc. :) A moment captured in time of so many different personalities. Like plaids and polka dots when you mix them, they clash. :)

Well done piece! :)

[MOON]

Thanks so much agree with you !

[Sami Khalil]

I like this poem a lot for being so frank and relevant to this site and poetry in general. Some people do it in good faith and some do it in arrogance to show they are better thank us or prove a point. I build friendship first and email anyone if I feel they made a typo or something important for their own sake . It is never for my sake. It will be in a seggestive form and a friendly manner...An excellent write...:)

[zainul]

A great write.
It was necessary to document the type of war that breaks out occasionally among the writers.
The world is ruled by generals with their followers.Some writers too like to be called as
'soldiers' .They jump up to capture the imaginary enemies over the ethereal internet
where a force develop on each side.
Moon,congratulate you for the wonderful work!!!

[MOON]

Thanks Zainul for your kind review, most appreciated! Take care!

[zainul]

You are most welcome,dear friend :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I tell people. When I'm rich and famous. I will get a fancy pant editor and make my work perfect. Writing is learning and trying to improve. I don't like rewriting. Changes initial desire and form of story. I like the poem. Nice flow of thoughts using short sentences to made your purpose come alive and strong. Today I write for pleasure. I'm poor and I can afford a editor yet. I do appreciate polite help. E-mail is polite if something need to be repaired. Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[MOON]

Thanks Coyote , always enjoy you stopping by . Take care!