WC: Soldiers Unfortunate

 

So I wrote a little poem

put it on a site

hello darling it’s my own

my  ego’s taken flight

then you came along

looking for a fight

told me

   so many things

 were  not right

 it’s way too long

and boring

my tenses

 and spelling

 all  just wrong

now I began

 to foam

so I’ll just pick

 your bone

Yes, I know you are

 in the ether

let me tell you please

 Sir

I am fragile

someone

 let me have

my fun

While I bash

your head

With  one

 or three

cutting

 stings

there we were

two strangers

Monologues,

 dialogues and

 Lone Rangers

heading for the sunset

 slinging at the hips

I tell you dear

 this place

just gives me

the creeps

online

 attacks

 and defences

 just makes me weep

Now they tell me in Syria

 there is a real war

needing real soldier

 fighting at the door

WC to the rescue

 Bringing muscles

 let’s begin

The way we fight

 online

 Surely we will

 Win

Author's Note

With apologies to Baby Ricochet , copying your style is the sincerest form of flattery.
This is tongue in cheek!

Reviews

[R J Askew]

arf, arf a lovely light touch satire with a devastating sting in its tail. Perfectly executed.

[MOON]

Thanks Orlando as a species we are a bit crazy!

[R J Askew]

Most definitely. I sometimes think I was assigned the wrong species at birth. I wld rather be a swift or a dolphin, though dolphins can be a bit mean it seems, too.

[FJ Davis]

I know little about this dust-up; gonna keep it that way.
What I do know, Moon, is you're a very talented, mostly good-natured poet who probably has the right spin on things.
Much enjoyed your clever and extremely well done satirical poem.
Live long and prosecute.

[MOON]

Thanks Frank guesses all communities online or otherwise have issues.

[Tree]

I too liked the structure of this, it guides the reader and slows them down. So they don't step over any of the language, instead they wade through it. And I agree, I think you should first develop a understanding or a friendship with a writer before being overtly critical. Or just read the notes carefully because some writers actually want you to break them down. I decided a long time ago to be supportive first, then if someone asks my advice I might offer up a tough critique.

Diego

[Frieda P]

Love the satire, love the poetry, love the formatting, do you think I like this one, yep!! I love it....well said!

[MOON]

Thank you Frieda , glad you enjoyed. Go well!

[Frieda P]

What do you expect when you get a bunch of high-strung poets together, eh? My pleasure MOON....

[Caradoc]

Indeed.

With the ferocity with which I have seen the venom slung these past few days, in but two comment wars, victory would be assured. An army of regenerating trolls the likes of which exist on the internet would surely overwhelm any legion of poor, real life, warriors. ;p

This was a fun and entertaining read. We should all laugh out loud from time to time. Even if no one else knows why. It makes it even more humorous.

-Caradoc

[MOON]

Thank you so much for the review, most appreciated, think we take ourselves far too seriously.
read moreThank you so much for the review, most appreciated, think we take ourselves far too seriously.
Take care!

[MOON]

Meant will read more of your work soon. Take care