Chapter 3: Sorrow

Chapter 3: Sorrow

A Chapter by Macy A. Brown

       As the week continued the rumor spread about the young boy.  Parents locked up their childrens' toys and games. 

    As the mother and father of the boy, the mother was none stop talking about suicide and the father left and never returned.  

          The following month was nothing but sitting up in my room and looking out of the window. The henchmen paced about the whole town. That month there was only one more murder and that head was left hanging on the mailbox as well as the young boys.

         I finally decided that it was time to do something about the king and queen.  As I thought I remembered that the next generation of the the king and queen take place of the throne.  Why hadn't this happened yet.  Nobody said that they were killed as well.

          I told my mum and pap where I was going, collected up some money, and set out to go the the palace.

© 2011 Macy A. Brown

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ok here is the thing. the main character is 17 and a half. so the parents think she is responsiblle enough to leave

Posted 11 Years Ago

Cool chapter but lots of grammar mistakes

Posted 11 Years Ago

Changes: the mother was NON stop not none stop. Second sentence in the third paragraph needs to be capitalized. Queen not quenn. Should be "Why hadn't this happened yet?" One more thing: How are the parents ok with their child leaving? Shouldn't she runaway because if I were the parent I would be trying to protect my child. Just some things to think about. I really liked it though. The plot is forming nicely and I am excited to see what comes next. This is really good considering this is your first book. Good job! Keep writing so I can read more! :)

Posted 11 Years Ago

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3 Reviews
Added on July 14, 2011
Last Updated on July 23, 2011


Macy A. Brown
Macy A. Brown


I love to write of course! That's why I am on here. I am writing a new book named, "Christmas Morning" It's my first one and I come out with about two to three chapters a day. I love to play baseba.. more..