Paradelle

Teaching versus dogma; then malice eradicated

Dockyard, unscrupulous, a marine
dockyard unscrupulous, a marine.
Obsession for what did I fail?
Grow these ropes from hemp.
Marine, did I fail?  What for?
A dockyard unscrupulous obsession.

Doctors, I beg off your power
doctors I beg off your power;
Often enough pine needles fall,
Continuous Pledges blinding
Enough doctors beg often pine
Needles fall, I power you’re off..

Thrice loafers had I walked away;
thrice loafers had I walking, a way. 
Entering though the open doors,
Then malice making a sour list.
Doors had. I threw away loafers.
Open thrice walking, the entering.

Loafers feel unscrupulous, dockyard
lovers fail, unscrupulous dockyards.
Open doors for your marrying doctors;
What power! Did big needles enter
the ring of power, a-walking often
through rice? I shun the way, obsess.

Author's Note

The paradelle is a four stanza poem, each stanza consists of 6 lines, for the 1st 3 stanzas, the 1st and 2nd lines should be the same, the 5th & 6th should be composed of all the words from the 1st &3rd lines and only the words from the 1st & 3rd lines. The final stanza should be composed of all the words in the 5th & 6th lines of the 1st three stanzas.

Reviews

[Happy hours]

nice poetic form...thank you for sharing...we can learn art from your writings... :) I love the second last stanza
Thrice loafers had I walked away;
thrice loafers had I walking, a way.
Entering though the open doors,
Then malice making a sour list.
Doors had. I threw away loafers.
Open thrice walking, the entering

beautiful piece :)

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

nice work...keep writing!

[Maglia Weaver Twill]

thanks, scarlet azalea, it was a weird form to try out, a fun game of a form, I don't know if I will be able to write another Paradelle and when but it is one of the new american verse forms created in the past I think 20 years or so I read somewhere, I have no idea if it is accurate, but I find it a little bit challenging but also enjoyable of a poetic form

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

ya, write more of these kinds of writing. Oh so these kind of writing are called Paradelle. Impressive!!

[Shayna Joyce]

"Doctors, I beg off your power
doctors I beg off your power;
Often enough pine needles fall,
Continuous Pledges blinding
Enough doctors beg often pine
Needles fall, I power you’re off.."

I love your use of repetition, it really makes a powerful statement.

Great poem! It is clear you have been writing for a long time, keep it up!

[Maglia Weaver Twill]

thanks, there are some spelling changes I feel, I've never tried on this poetic form for size as it were, there really are some strange glitches in it but it was a learning experience to write it, there might be some good lines.