All this negativity

All this negativity

A Story by silence is my soulmate
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Just the mind of a depressed person

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“I know exactly how that is,to love people who doesn't deserve it.Because they are all you have.Because any attention is better than none.

For exactly the same reason it is sometimes satisfying to cut yourself and bleed.

On those gray days where 8 in the morning looks no different from noon and nothing has happened and nothing is going to happen.

And you are washing a glass in the sink and it breaks accidenttally and punctures your skin.

And then there is this shocking red the brightest thing in the day.So vibrant it buzzes this blood of yours.

That is okay,sometimes,because at least you know that you're...Alive!”

 

But then again you wonder if you’re even worth living, and you start to feel like you are merely an unsignificant insect,just like the dust on the street .Just like an empty bottle floating down the river,Just like a ragged doll someone had discarded.

All this negativity,all this pessimism you can’t get rid of...

What to do?

You mind is confused,the labyrinths in there are getting more complicated,and you’re just turning in circles,dizzy is all it makes you…

And when that  chambered muscular organ that pumps blood is shedding tears of blood,is crying out for help,is doing more than just pumping blood,is being ripped and torn apart,everything becomes blurry so blurry that you believe it is actually dark,when it’s not…and as we all know it When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object…so you eventually stop being a fighter,you’re about to give up and you sink in the depth of despair…

Yet,oblivious to our pain,to our mental agony,to our infinite suffering,people only knows how to worsen our life and set fire to the rain.They add more knots that are impossible to untangle,and they put more obstacles on your way,they blindfold you,they backbite you call, you names,and make you believe that you are someone you aren’t and have never been…

Furthermore if you stare a little longer at the centre of the universe,there is coldness,a blankness.Ultimately,the universe doesn’t care about us.Time doesn’t care about us…

But just when you’re hopes are about to fade like fog in the sunshine,you suddenly remember that there is light,there had always been light,and it will always be here…

 

© 2013 silence is my soulmate


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Featured Review

I felt the emotion in this piece and I have felt these words echo through my soul more times than I could count. You give a good explanation of how it feels to be depressed, to have people hurt you more and more not knowing the cost of every vicious blow, verbal, physical, emotional. You have explained how I have felt on many occasions, many have felt this pain, but so few are able to express it as well as you have. To make it easier to read, it could use some paragraphing but other than that I really enjoyed it, although painful, it was well written. Thanks, Leah.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I felt the emotion in this piece and I have felt these words echo through my soul more times than I could count. You give a good explanation of how it feels to be depressed, to have people hurt you more and more not knowing the cost of every vicious blow, verbal, physical, emotional. You have explained how I have felt on many occasions, many have felt this pain, but so few are able to express it as well as you have. To make it easier to read, it could use some paragraphing but other than that I really enjoyed it, although painful, it was well written. Thanks, Leah.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on October 2, 2013
Last Updated on October 2, 2013
Tags: #depression, #struggle, #hurt, #sadness