My Insanity

My Insanity

A Poem by Maia F. Wilson
"

Don't exactly remember when or why I wrote this, but looking at the words I have an idea.

"
I am an open wound,
And my ignorance is stabbing my soul.
I let someone in
And told them my secrets
But now they're gone
With no regrets.
There's a fire in my stomach,
I wish I was a dragon,
So I can blow flames on my anger.
I wanna punch a wall
But not seem crazy.
Give me a straight jacket and a shot,
Let everything seem hazy.
I'm ready to go,
Blow, kick, and scream!
Tear my heart out at the seam.
I just wanna have joy come in the
mo(u)rning for me.
But I realize that life isn't that easy,
Until then......
I live in my insanity.

© 2015 Maia F. Wilson


Author's Note

Maia F. Wilson
Please review. And especially be honest about what you think. All critiques are welcome.

My Review

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Featured Review

To start of my review, let me first critique you on the technical aspects of your work such as grammar etc. I will examine and analyze each line of text afterwards.

The inconsistency of your rhyming bothers me but it's more of a personal preference I suppose than a technical one. It would be better in my opinion if you were to have not made those rhymes such as--->
"But not seem (crazy).
Give me a straight jacket and a shot,
Let everything seem (hazy).
I'm ready to go,
Blow, kick, and (scream)!
Tear my heart out at the (seam). "

'compared to other parts such as:

"I am an open wound,
And my ignorance is stabbing my soul.
I let someone in
And told them my secrets
But now they're gone
With no regrets. "
---> *If you are to rhyme then do it in such a way that there is an observable pattern because by rhyming words on different lines in particular a manner yet not continuing the said manner on other lines, what you've created becomes tacky.*

"I (wanna) punch a wall" ---> *You could've put *want to* instead of *wanna* because that would be the proper way of writing it but in the end, this is yet another personal preference for there is nothing inherently wrong with using *wanna* since it conveys the same meaning in a colloquial manner but then again, I being a grammar nerd :P, advise on you using *want to* instead.*

"There's a fire in my stomach(,)---> *You could've used a semicolon instead because the line after it is an
independent clause.*
I wish I was a dragon,
So I can blow flames on my anger. "
---> *I am baffled myself on your usage of punctuation for makes the poem appear to be structured out of various sentences merely connected to one another out of sentences being placed after the sentence preceding it. You could've avoided using punctuation altogether but then again, I am not sufficiently knowledgeable on this kind of poem out of a lack of experience or exposure to its kind which is why I respect its form.*

I am fascinated by the straightforward way you convey your thoughts! Your poem seems to be more like prose or prose poetry than regular poetry itself. It has this sort of vibe that indicates you, talking, expressing, what you feel as if you were simply trying to pour out the contents of your mind, of your inner-self in a bold, unabashed, fashion.

People come and go. Sometimes you leave parts of yourself with them that they take away once their gone from your life and that brings so much pain. You say that you're an "open wound". I interpret that line with you always being raw and tender out of the people that constantly keep on entering and leaving you albeit people never cease to enter. Every person you meet causes your wound to open more and deepen at the instant they leave and you have no way to prevent it because those persons that indeed leave you decide themselves on wether or not they leave you behind; not you. A choice they make out of their own free wills. You are powerless on the finality of their decision, of their decision to scrape and dig in on your flesh, the flesh of your wound, letting it bleed out of it being devoid or organic tissue. ("I let someone in/ And told them my secrets/ But now they're gone/ With no regrets. "---> *Agonizingly excruciating*). They keep on chipping away at your very being yet you still let them; ignorance you claim that stabs your soul("And my ignorance is stabbing my soul").

"(There's a fire in my stomach,
I wish I was a dragon,
So I can blow flames on my anger.) ---> *Your rage and annoyance out of what happened. It is what you feel*
(I wanna punch a wall
But not seem crazy.
Give me a straight jacket and a shot,
Let everything seem hazy.
I'm ready to go,
Blow, kick, and scream!
Tear my heart out at the seam.) " ---> *You want to be excused from doing irrational behavior out of your indignation which is why you either want to be crazy or drunk so that your view of reality would slip away from the realm of the rational thus giving you an excuse; if ever you are to be punished for such behavior, you'd be pardoned. Mentally, you've already prepared and conditioned yourself to just explode and go ballistic; to let all of the surpressed contents within you just come out.*
---> *This part in its totality makes you feel all of the rage and wrath within out of having to deal with your painful experiences with other people and on how you intend on coping with it.*

"I just wanna have joy come in the
mo(u)rning for me."
---> *By the time morning comes, the time after you've done all that you would have done in coping with everything that has happened, you simply hope that you would have attained, by then, peace of mind and tranquility. You hope that you will be happy by the time morning OR mourning comes. You know for yourself that you might have lost your life by the time it all ends out of not being able to bear it anymore. You believe that by no longer being alive, you are relived, ameliorated even, of having to constantly experience the pain on being an open wound with all of the hurtful experiences it entails. I find this usage of a pair of homophonic words, morning and mourning, clever.*

"(But I realize that life isn't that easy,) ---> *You suddenly have this epiphany wherein you understand that's how life is. Life is difficult. *
(Until then......
I live in my insanity.)" ---> *Until what though? Until you no longer live? Until you no longer allow the wound to open more? Until whatever it is that line pertains to, with you being the sole individual that knows of what is it that it truly relates to, you will allow yourself to exist in this cruel, unforgiving, world we all reside in where the truth is that people are very capable of causing you to feel immense amounts of pain and hurt. You think yourself that it is insanity that you allow yourself to do so albeit you still continue on with life knowing that there is a much more rational choice than simply let the state of your being persist with being so.

In the end, this poem is very real and forward with your inner-most thoughts and feelings about the precarious situation you are stuck in. It's a good read that enables me to visit your mind. It makes me feel empathy for you and what you have to deal with. It moves me making me think and feel thoughts and emotions based from yours. It's wonderful and sincere and unrelenting. I do not claim that my interpretation of what you have written is what you originally intended for people to interpret but in the end, regardless of what it truly means, it speaks to me with passion as if it were from the heart.

(I don't know how to properly and appropriately rate your poem numerically so I'll just give you an 81)
" Don't exactly remember when or why I wrote this, but looking at the words I have an idea."

I hope that you have found healing in what you have done. Expressing and opening up yourself is very therapeutic and it helps a lot in growing as a person. I thank you profusely for creating this poem and I personally wish goodwill upon you and your future.

May you continue to write and express what is it that you want to express :)



Posted 4 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Riversong

4 Years Ago

Very thorough!



Reviews

I enjoyed the poem alot keep on writing more please I will be waitinggg

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

To start of my review, let me first critique you on the technical aspects of your work such as grammar etc. I will examine and analyze each line of text afterwards.

The inconsistency of your rhyming bothers me but it's more of a personal preference I suppose than a technical one. It would be better in my opinion if you were to have not made those rhymes such as--->
"But not seem (crazy).
Give me a straight jacket and a shot,
Let everything seem (hazy).
I'm ready to go,
Blow, kick, and (scream)!
Tear my heart out at the (seam). "

'compared to other parts such as:

"I am an open wound,
And my ignorance is stabbing my soul.
I let someone in
And told them my secrets
But now they're gone
With no regrets. "
---> *If you are to rhyme then do it in such a way that there is an observable pattern because by rhyming words on different lines in particular a manner yet not continuing the said manner on other lines, what you've created becomes tacky.*

"I (wanna) punch a wall" ---> *You could've put *want to* instead of *wanna* because that would be the proper way of writing it but in the end, this is yet another personal preference for there is nothing inherently wrong with using *wanna* since it conveys the same meaning in a colloquial manner but then again, I being a grammar nerd :P, advise on you using *want to* instead.*

"There's a fire in my stomach(,)---> *You could've used a semicolon instead because the line after it is an
independent clause.*
I wish I was a dragon,
So I can blow flames on my anger. "
---> *I am baffled myself on your usage of punctuation for makes the poem appear to be structured out of various sentences merely connected to one another out of sentences being placed after the sentence preceding it. You could've avoided using punctuation altogether but then again, I am not sufficiently knowledgeable on this kind of poem out of a lack of experience or exposure to its kind which is why I respect its form.*

I am fascinated by the straightforward way you convey your thoughts! Your poem seems to be more like prose or prose poetry than regular poetry itself. It has this sort of vibe that indicates you, talking, expressing, what you feel as if you were simply trying to pour out the contents of your mind, of your inner-self in a bold, unabashed, fashion.

People come and go. Sometimes you leave parts of yourself with them that they take away once their gone from your life and that brings so much pain. You say that you're an "open wound". I interpret that line with you always being raw and tender out of the people that constantly keep on entering and leaving you albeit people never cease to enter. Every person you meet causes your wound to open more and deepen at the instant they leave and you have no way to prevent it because those persons that indeed leave you decide themselves on wether or not they leave you behind; not you. A choice they make out of their own free wills. You are powerless on the finality of their decision, of their decision to scrape and dig in on your flesh, the flesh of your wound, letting it bleed out of it being devoid or organic tissue. ("I let someone in/ And told them my secrets/ But now they're gone/ With no regrets. "---> *Agonizingly excruciating*). They keep on chipping away at your very being yet you still let them; ignorance you claim that stabs your soul("And my ignorance is stabbing my soul").

"(There's a fire in my stomach,
I wish I was a dragon,
So I can blow flames on my anger.) ---> *Your rage and annoyance out of what happened. It is what you feel*
(I wanna punch a wall
But not seem crazy.
Give me a straight jacket and a shot,
Let everything seem hazy.
I'm ready to go,
Blow, kick, and scream!
Tear my heart out at the seam.) " ---> *You want to be excused from doing irrational behavior out of your indignation which is why you either want to be crazy or drunk so that your view of reality would slip away from the realm of the rational thus giving you an excuse; if ever you are to be punished for such behavior, you'd be pardoned. Mentally, you've already prepared and conditioned yourself to just explode and go ballistic; to let all of the surpressed contents within you just come out.*
---> *This part in its totality makes you feel all of the rage and wrath within out of having to deal with your painful experiences with other people and on how you intend on coping with it.*

"I just wanna have joy come in the
mo(u)rning for me."
---> *By the time morning comes, the time after you've done all that you would have done in coping with everything that has happened, you simply hope that you would have attained, by then, peace of mind and tranquility. You hope that you will be happy by the time morning OR mourning comes. You know for yourself that you might have lost your life by the time it all ends out of not being able to bear it anymore. You believe that by no longer being alive, you are relived, ameliorated even, of having to constantly experience the pain on being an open wound with all of the hurtful experiences it entails. I find this usage of a pair of homophonic words, morning and mourning, clever.*

"(But I realize that life isn't that easy,) ---> *You suddenly have this epiphany wherein you understand that's how life is. Life is difficult. *
(Until then......
I live in my insanity.)" ---> *Until what though? Until you no longer live? Until you no longer allow the wound to open more? Until whatever it is that line pertains to, with you being the sole individual that knows of what is it that it truly relates to, you will allow yourself to exist in this cruel, unforgiving, world we all reside in where the truth is that people are very capable of causing you to feel immense amounts of pain and hurt. You think yourself that it is insanity that you allow yourself to do so albeit you still continue on with life knowing that there is a much more rational choice than simply let the state of your being persist with being so.

In the end, this poem is very real and forward with your inner-most thoughts and feelings about the precarious situation you are stuck in. It's a good read that enables me to visit your mind. It makes me feel empathy for you and what you have to deal with. It moves me making me think and feel thoughts and emotions based from yours. It's wonderful and sincere and unrelenting. I do not claim that my interpretation of what you have written is what you originally intended for people to interpret but in the end, regardless of what it truly means, it speaks to me with passion as if it were from the heart.

(I don't know how to properly and appropriately rate your poem numerically so I'll just give you an 81)
" Don't exactly remember when or why I wrote this, but looking at the words I have an idea."

I hope that you have found healing in what you have done. Expressing and opening up yourself is very therapeutic and it helps a lot in growing as a person. I thank you profusely for creating this poem and I personally wish goodwill upon you and your future.

May you continue to write and express what is it that you want to express :)



Posted 4 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Riversong

4 Years Ago

Very thorough!

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327 Views
2 Reviews
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Added on May 1, 2015
Last Updated on May 1, 2015
Tags: Pain, anger, insanity, scream, mad, wounds, fire

Author

Maia F. Wilson
Maia F. Wilson

Modesto, CA



About
Church kid that loves God, music, food, and reading. And sometimes I have random spurts of genius that are called Poems. more..

Writing
Stand Stand

A Poem by Maia F. Wilson