Flying The Friendly Skies

A short story for those less than well traveled individuals under the false impression jetting across the far flung regions of the globe sounds so full of excitement and exotic adventure. Bonvoyage!

Ahhhhhhh the glitz and the glam of flying the friendly skies. The airplane is full. I know this by the number of times I was bumped, jostled, and banged with bags by boarding passengers rudely dragging overstuffed roll-aboards down the aisle and travel neophytes with their 50lb free swinging backpacks.  The cast for my flight has arrived with the customery level of pomp and circumstance.  For want of any other trully meaningful activity I carefully begin a survey my travel mates.

The old Indian lady one row up appears to have discovered a new resting place for buried treasure in her left nostril and is in up to her third knuckle looking for it. The young married couple with zero parenting skills and their vocally talented 3 year old are just one row back.  Apparently Junior fixed his pants 10 minutes into the flight and his parents are now locked in a to-the-death wrestling match attempting an in-cabin fanny wash and diaper change.

 

From the sounds and smells emanating from their row I can guess chili-cheese fries were a bad first choice for their 3 year old’s lunch, and the match is currently a tie.  Honestly, I wish they would hurry. I’m actually looking forward to Junior’s high pitched scream returning to a more consistent, lower pitched scream.

Staring at the seat back directly in front of me I close my eyes and utter a quick frequent flyer’s prayer: Oh Lord, grant us reach cruising altitude quickly so we might make use of our coveted iPods and noise suppression earphones while we await the arrival of the blessed drink cart and it’s stress relieving libations. Aaaaamen.

Curiosity gets the better of me and I open my eyes and look to see if the old woman achieved her quest for personal riches or is preparing to go the extra mile and is in up to her wrist……......Drink please!

Reviews

[spiritwind]

Ha! I enjoyed your story... discomfort and all! I looked to see when it was written and now I fear you are perhaps inactive and I am writing this to myself. I hope you are still here. I think you have writing skills!