Looking Back-Glass

Looking Back-Glass

Easing into my mind, never happens softly.
No dreamy embraces or favorite places.
It’s never soft in the night, or while basking in daylight.
In fact, it’s very much the opposite of this kind of bliss.

Like being woken abruptly from a dream, or
Falling uncontrollably in that scene.
Kicking, flailing, fear strickenly frozen.
The memories rush in, unforgiven.

That moment I said the words to push you away.
That time I forgot my own mind, was so unkind.
Or when I was too tired to rock her to sleep.
Ironically, too tired to keep these memories straight,
I’m not even sure they happened like that.

I always wished for a looking glass to take me away
Especially on days like today. When memory brutally,
Keeps attacking me. Yet, now that I realize, what
That glass does. I don’t want it anymore.

Take these memories from me.
I don’t want to remember.
His touch, or how I hurt him so much.
Her face and how it’s aged.
The home that once held happiness.
In fact, take all of this decay.

I’ll take seven years of bad luck, for
No more reflections are needed.
I have everything I need, outside
Of memory and dreams.
I have this moment, this time,
This very second.
I have no need for that looking back-glass.
I have reality.