Can't Cry

She just can't cry. Only dying will end this stupid pain inside.

I want to cry
Instead of die

I'm sick of hiding
Behind all these lies

I can't buy
My happiness

Nor can I buy the tears
I dread to cry

I continue to lie
And hide

Because inside
It hurts to cry

I just want to die
For I just can't cry

Dying will end
This pain of mine

Then I wouldn't have to hide
Or even lie

I could just die
And not ever cry

I just wish I could cry
Instead of die....

Author's Note

Something I'm going through

Reviews

[aftervision]

the death of love needs to float upon the river of tears until it finds it's way back to the heart from which it came -- and yes that is better than dying

[Emily Paige]

your an amazing writer i wish it wasn't because of you pain if you want to talk message me have a good day hun.

[The Wave]

...hmm it just came across as extremely repetitive and a tad amateurish. The words you chose to keep repeating aren't original for a rhyme scheme. And this took away from the actual meaning of your poem which isn't good.
I do understand what you were trying to say, but the feeling isn't emphasized enough.

[bubbles]

a little to much repetativeness but i could definatly feel the emotion. good job

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

Aww this was really sad, but emotional and good. I liked it. I can relate to it. I couldn't cry when my uncle died...I had used up all the tears. I cried a lot two days before since Georgie had killed himself about two or three days before my uncle.

[JenLyn]

I hate it when all I want to do is cry and no tears fall. Overall a good write, keep it up! :)

[kbjami]

I'm going to feel REALLY bad about this, but this poem makes no sense. For example in the first stanza "I want to cry Instead of die"

Then we get this later in the poem "I just want to die For I just can't cry" this kinda contradicts what you were saying and then at the end it repeats the 1st stanza. I think it has a lot of potential, but the meaning switches through out the poem. I really am sorry to post this, but isn't this what the site is for? To help people become better writers by giving real criticism? Please don't hate me because of this.

[Havatara]

So sad! It's a nice piece. Not your best, but still nice. It you tended to end your lines with words that had the long I sound in the last syllable (or only syllable), and I always expected you to make an obvious rhyme, but you didn't rhyme hide or mine or inside with anything, and happiness was just way out there. But you were writing for emotions, not rhymes, right?

[Emily]

I always like a piece that is just so hard to get into because of the emotions which are flowing from it. You've done such a great job making this flow through each word and each pain. Yes, it is devistating to feel the need to both hide and cry at the same time. But life will change, and you will be able to cry and feel better.
*hug*
I hope that you will be able to work and write your way through this -- best of luck!

[Scarlet Pulse]

This piece is extremely emotional. It does come together well because of the repetition in the beginning then in the end. I like it though because you switch it up. Feel better.