what is love

what is love

A Poem by Manel
"

a little one sided love i hope you will like it

"

She asked me what’s love ?

what color is it?

How does it tast?

And how can we feel it?

She’s so pure and neat

Her curiosity was so sweet

Waiting for me to answer

with a glare of a fencer

 

Love is:

 

Feeling happy after a bad day by looking at you

Can’t stop Smiling when I think about you

Feeling full while watching you eating

Losing my sleep to stare at your pretty face sleeping

when i have time we spend it together

spoiling you makes my day better

Love’s colore is a unique 

mixes your brown eyes and dark hair 

add to it your skin's fair

with a bit of your parfum there 

made a perfect magic spell 

that left me amazed by you as well



well love simply is:


When you find parts of yourself in someone else 

a bond wich makes two heart beat as one 

if one got hurt the other feels the pain instead

© 2018 Manel


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Featured Review

First, structured poetry does not simply have rhymes dropped in here and there. The structure and flow of words in structured poetry acts as a means of keeping a rhythm, with the rhyme acting as a kind of meta-punctuation, the "tink" of a symbol to add accent.

And when you do rhyme, the line must NEVER be forced to the needs of the rhyme, as you do in this.

The line in which you needed to rhyme with Answer, for example, and used, "with a glare of a fencer," results in a line that makes no sense. Fencers need to focus, and concentrate, not radiate hate. An angry fencer is one who makes mistakes.

But that aside, the lines above were about a woman asking about love, there's no anger implied in how she's asking. Yet at the end she appears to be angry, which doesn't track. But since Fencer rhymed with answer, you placed the needs of the rhyme above those of the flow of idea.

In general, I think you would benefit from reading the excerpt from Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled, on Amazon. It's something I often recommend because it's a really good intro to the basics of structured poetry, and says a lot about the flow of words that may help you a great deal in getting a handle on what poetry is, and how it works.

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Manel

3 Years Ago

thank you Jay for these notes they are really usefull
i didn't say that the girl was angry o.. read more



Reviews

You have a truly beautiful way of thinking. I'm glad you expressed yourself the way you did in this poem because I felt that way about someone on a certain level too. The heart is really the way to love all of someone no matter what. Nicely done!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Manel

1 Year Ago

that's so sweet of you thank you
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Rye
I really enjoyed this write, love the last stanza

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Manel

3 Years Ago

thank you so much for reading my peace
I found your descriptions of what love is refreshing and a pleasure to read. Also what a lucky woman to have someone say these sweet things to her! This leaves me with a smile. :) Thank yoou

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Manel

3 Years Ago

you always encourage me with your lovely reviews Effie thank you so much
Effie

3 Years Ago

You are very welcome. I enjoy reading your words.
First, structured poetry does not simply have rhymes dropped in here and there. The structure and flow of words in structured poetry acts as a means of keeping a rhythm, with the rhyme acting as a kind of meta-punctuation, the "tink" of a symbol to add accent.

And when you do rhyme, the line must NEVER be forced to the needs of the rhyme, as you do in this.

The line in which you needed to rhyme with Answer, for example, and used, "with a glare of a fencer," results in a line that makes no sense. Fencers need to focus, and concentrate, not radiate hate. An angry fencer is one who makes mistakes.

But that aside, the lines above were about a woman asking about love, there's no anger implied in how she's asking. Yet at the end she appears to be angry, which doesn't track. But since Fencer rhymed with answer, you placed the needs of the rhyme above those of the flow of idea.

In general, I think you would benefit from reading the excerpt from Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled, on Amazon. It's something I often recommend because it's a really good intro to the basics of structured poetry, and says a lot about the flow of words that may help you a great deal in getting a handle on what poetry is, and how it works.

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Manel

3 Years Ago

thank you Jay for these notes they are really usefull
i didn't say that the girl was angry o.. read more
Good thoughts on a worldwide subject.


Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Manel

3 Years Ago

you are right chris it is and thank you
you sound like you know,good for you

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Manel

3 Years Ago

supportive as always my friend thank you
 wordman

3 Years Ago

my pleasure

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Added on February 1, 2018
Last Updated on March 30, 2018

Author

Manel
Manel

Oued Rhiou, Islam, Algeria



About
hey guys , Iam Manel a dreamy girl from Algeria i love to write from time to time so i wanted to share it with you i welocome every comment and review and every friend on this site Be kind to on.. more..

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