Evil Darkness

Evil Darkness

A Story by Maria Retz

Just a writing exercise, I often do these to improve my writing skills

“I have heard rumours of it. Sensed it with all my senses. Believed it to be nothing more than a tale, told by someone who wanted to scare you.”
“I always thought it to be a lie.”

“I was wrong!”

Shadow crept over the sitting room, as the old man in front of the fireplace began his tale.
No one in the village understood what was happening. The old stories had died with those who knew just a little about them. It was only he who had survived the actual attack. The old man knew it was his duty to tell the rest of the survivors about it.

“The darkness,” he mumbled silently, not expecting anyone to hear it, but they all did. The audience hardly breathed, they didn’t want to miss just one single word. “It was the darkness that took them.” He became aware that he sat talking to himself and hurried to lift his head, to look at the people gathered in front of him. “Ah, yes,” he said, as if he suddenly remembered where he was.

“Mr. Aundrey,” a young boy, who stood leaning toward one of the pillars in the room, interrupted, with a loud but frightened voice.

The old man turned his head to look at him “Yes, Blaine,” he looked at him with eyes so full of worries, that the poor boy automatically hesitated before continuing.

“I… I wondered if you could just tell us what to do, instead of telling us the whole story. The people who attacked can come back anytime soon, to kill us. We better act now, before they do.”

The old man knitted his brows and cleared his throat. Then he looked at the boy with serious and a little rebuking in the eyes. “They are not people and you will have to know the full story, to know what you are up against. If you are not prepared for what you must fight, then you have no chance to win. You must be patient, young boy, you must be patient.”

A bright lightning, followed by a loud thunderclap, made them all move closer together. It took almost nothing to frighten them after the incident last night.

They had come from out of nowhere. None of the survivors had seen what it was that had come to spread all the terror.

Now they could do nothing but listen to Mr. Aundrey, the one they always had seen as being crazy.

“They will come again, there’s no doubt that they will come to kill the rest of us.” The old man had again fallen into the spell of his own thoughts.

“Mr. Aundrey, who are they?” another child asked, a young girl, who looked at him with big, blue eyes.

The old man sighed and nodded his head. Then he stood up, turned around to look into the fireplace, and didn’t say a word. For a long time he just stood there, with no intention to turn around to answer the question.

Finally, just as one of the men was about to become angry and make them all leave, to let the crazy old man be, he turned around.

“They are difficult to describe, as they don’t have any physical form. They are made out of darkness, not as the dark night you are used to, but darkness created by evil. They have not been in our world for thousand of years, though they have kept an eye on us. They don’t want to be discovered, they don’t want us to know about their existence. They are dependent on our ignorance, as their power decrease each time a person finds out that they exist. “ Mr. Aundrey looked at them with a warning in his eyes.

“Then we should be safe. We are twelve who have survived, who now know about them, it must have decreased their powers a lot.” One of the men had stood up and walked a little nearer to the old man

“Or so it was for many years, but… there have been changes,” Mr. Aundrey said, as if he had only kept a small break before continuing the description of them. He had been waiting impatiently to tell them this, as the truth was that they did not stand a chance to survive. “They no longer loose powers, instead their powers increase each time a person is killed, especially if this person knew about their existence too.”

“No, I don’t believe a word of what you have told us,” a woman said, with condemnation in her eyes.

“She is right, we shouldn’t trust such fairy tales, when the real danger is waiting just outside,” another woman said and stood up to walk to the door.

Soon one by one stood up and walked out the door, while they all complained that they had been wasting their time.
As soon as the last person had walked out, the door slammed and a deep silence occurred.

The old man smiled satisfied, this was exactly what he had expected.

A lot of screaming outside made his smile grow bigger. “It is fulfilled.” Through the windows he saw how dark shadows caught the last people of the village and made them fall to the ground, dead.

Mr. Aundrey could not help laughing, but then he again became serious. “Those who do not believe in the old stories, will never stand a chance, as they come to realize that the stories are true,” he turned around to look at the fireplace. Then he walked into the embers and stared out the window, where the last murders were taking place. He lifted his arms above his head and closed his eyes. “Awendan min lichama. Awendan min sawol. Ic scieppan heolstor. Awendan ic nu.”

The old man’s body changed into a dark shadow, darker than night, darker than anything existing in our world. With a shrilling scream he floated toward the door, went through it and flew out into the night, to help his brothers kill the last people who knew about them. The power they would get, after killing the last people of this village, would be enough for them to achieve their true goal.
The goal humans first would find out about, when it was much too late.



© 2008 Maria Retz

© 2008 Maria Retz

Author's Note

Maria Retz
Please let me know if you find errors in the text. I am trying to learn English as fluently as possible. Thank you

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I like it, that was cool story thank you for posting in my contest Yossi

Posted 14 Years Ago

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Very interesting and suspenseful.

Posted 14 Years Ago

pretty cool story here

Posted 14 Years Ago

You were able to build tension in this story. slickly entertaining suspense, this is marvelously thoroughly modern read. (I personally don't read crime for I am too scared. For you - I did.) I liked it!

Posted 14 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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4 Reviews
Added on September 5, 2008
Last Updated on December 30, 2008


Maria Retz
Maria Retz


I only share those poems and stories I have written that aren't good enough for publication. Therefore, do not think that these poems and stories are the best I can do, I can do much better ;D I have.. more..