The Prisoner in Me

The Prisoner in Me

A Story by Maria Mercurio
"

100 words or less describe a prisoner

"

I wait for death.  Are the noises around me those of my executioners or my saviors?  I hear their plans for me, but I've no voice to plead my case.  I'm trapped in a broken body.  I have no sight, but I'm aware.  Aware that they plan to turn off the machines.  


I try to scream. NO!  


I try to show them I'm still me. 

 

It's too late.  The choice has been made.  Ironically, I'm the one that made it.  


I hear a click. 


 It has begun.  


My end. 


 I wonder what will come next?  

© 2013 Maria Mercurio


Author's Note

Maria Mercurio
A story of a coma patient

My Review

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Featured Review

It is incredibly impressive how much you have done with such little words. If there was a bit more hinting of where it might be leading, I would almost believe this was a preface to a thriller novel.

And the connections you make between a prisoner waiting to be executed and a coma patient, definitely shows some great talent.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Maria Mercurio

6 Years Ago

Thanks so much for the flattering review. I appreciate the read and the time you took to write a co.. read more



Reviews

wow so much drama so little words

Posted 1 Year Ago


I love that you connected the prisoner and a coma patient together, that's pure genius. Sometimes we don't think that way but it sure is true. I was a little confused by the format though, it made it difficult to read. It started as if you were going to use paragraph format but then a single sentence would end up on a single line. Half way through I thought you were going back to paragraph format. I wasn't sure if you were going for single thoughts of someone fading away or single thoughts of someone panicking. Of course, I don't write poetry so if I am way off you can just disregard the format part of this review. Either way I felt a connection to the coma patient and that was great.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Maria Mercurio

6 Years Ago

Thanks for checking this out! Yes the spaces are intentional. I imagine only silence for the narra.. read more
Krystle Lewallen

6 Years Ago

Oh, got it. :)
I absolutely loved every single word u said ! I can relate to this a lot !
well done !


Posted 6 Years Ago


Maria Mercurio

6 Years Ago

Thanks so much!
It is incredibly impressive how much you have done with such little words. If there was a bit more hinting of where it might be leading, I would almost believe this was a preface to a thriller novel.

And the connections you make between a prisoner waiting to be executed and a coma patient, definitely shows some great talent.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Maria Mercurio

6 Years Ago

Thanks so much for the flattering review. I appreciate the read and the time you took to write a co.. read more
this is really very eloquent,
i could intensely feel the deep, but really sensible thoughts that you had throughout......!!!!!
this has led me to say....
very very very well done...!!!!!
keeep writing....!!!

take care,
with best wishes,
saumya

Posted 6 Years Ago


Maria Mercurio

6 Years Ago

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review!
Saumya

6 Years Ago

you are highly welcomed dear.....!!!
:)
Liking what you've got here. Wonderful how simple it was and that special twist on the end. Coma patient.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Maria Mercurio

6 Years Ago

Thanks! I appreciate the read.
Jack V.

6 Years Ago

It was my pleasure.
Scary stuff right here. I think it is immensely creative being able to put the reader into the mind of a coma patient, who ironically made the decision to pull the plug. This is a really good beginning but it leaves me wanting more! I noticed this is a story so I'm excited see whether you will continue/follow up on this story, nonetheless great start Maria!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Maria Mercurio

6 Years Ago

Thanks so much! This is actually based on the true story of my friend that after a 1/2 woke up from.. read more
Maria Mercurio

6 Years Ago

1 and 1/2 years I meant!
Casner P

6 Years Ago

That's honestly amazing...keep up the good work! :)

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7 Reviews
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Added on June 8, 2013
Last Updated on June 11, 2013




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