SOLILOQUY

" i was apeaking to myself about someone"

 

SOLILOQUY

 

“He is trying to grab my attention. Wants to get noticed and admired. Wants to be desired and loved. Wants to be lavished with compliments about his strength and accomplishments. Wants to be worshipped for being a man. A Masculine man.

 

Soon he will be back - to fight, to be mean, to disrespect , to ignore my existence and to punish my feminine audaciousness.

He plots in plane, “how to wring off my self – esteem, to make a doormat out of it”.

 

As usual I will cry in washroom. Or perhaps I will behave coldly and look alarmed at his arrival. Or look upset and broken hearted. What was I to be expected from?

 

OH! How magical every thing was when he returned from his vacation last winter. He was suave, cheerful, caring and human. I had nurtured and nourished him with affectionate gazes. He had felt secure and complete in my world until one morning. I suddenly deprived him from all my attentions. He could never gather the courage to question me. And I saw a human turned to a beast, going to extents to draw a glance. He attacked mercilessly till my heart bleed. But how was all this going to benefit him.

I grew distant with every passing day. Surprisingly all that mattered to him was that nothing about me mattered to him anymore.

 

Soon all that was left was artificial formalities, few cordial gestures and greetings.

 

Well, am not regretting. How can I? Those days carried charm of its own.

 

He is coming back, after another vacation this summer. Things must have changed altogether. Believe me, am not prepared for changes.
But am I ready to move on either?”