I know she's braver than me

I know she's braver than me

A Poem by Mark D

In almost total darkness
Even the crows have gone silent
If only for a moment
As the shadow slipped away

My friend and I inch forward
Holding our breath
To hear that screaming sound
The crows go mad again

I fear a young death
Our white bodies shake
Hers in anticipation
And mine in fear

True to my nature
I could flee in panic
But why cut this moment short?
The will was ours to come

My friend more daring than I
Steps further into the dark
A tear finds my cheek
Before I retreat towards the light

The rest of her experience
Becomes a story to me
She doesn’t divide our roles in the telling of the tale
But I know she’s braver than me

© 2012 Mark D


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Featured Review

Apparently something sinister awaits, but what? Oh, it doesn't matter, does it? The fact remains that she craves the thrill of it much more than you. Long ago, a young lady led me through a dark, unknown woodland, and it was much as you say here. Good fun for her, goosebumps for me.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

loved the thrill! not sure i'm brave enough to do like her lol. Well written :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It is a good story, I have let many men (friends mind you) into dark places and I like the thrill of not knowing what I'm going to find in the dark. I don't do this anymore, you know, being an adult and all, but as a teen I often found myself in abandoned houses and dark graveyards.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Oh, I'm quite surprised that you've entered something that many have seen!
I'd like to thank you for entering my contest too. I love reading good work :)
I like your focus on the crow - almost like a symbol as in Scott Smith's book.
I like the structure and how there are four lines per paragraph. Organisation can make the difference between a readable piece and something that makes people click off straight away.
A prett simple story to follow and understand.
I like your characterisation - because most people try to make their protagonists seem the heroes, yet you go against this tradition (I love originality)! In true fact, in human nature we are a bit held back and fearful and I think in a way this story shows how we admire others - the friend being braver. For the character to admit this makes him likeable as he's not afraid to admit someone is better than him in this aspect

Posted 12 Years Ago


to admit she's braver than you takes courage. there is so much regret when it is her experience and not both of yours to share. it's very gracious of her to tell it as if it were yours as well. it shows what a kind, self-less girl she is as well someone who really cares about you.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Wow, this really got me thinking... Is it a sacrifice, a kind gesture not thought twice about, or is it just love? I think my favorite lines are "A tear finds my cheek
Before I retreat towards the light"

Light, obviously, is knowledge and sometimes Christlike... but in this context it symbolizes fear and possibly cowardice because it is safety. However, we can't always live in our comfort zones, in the spots we deem safe.

Really nice job!

Posted 12 Years Ago


brilliantly done. i loved ur well penned words.

Posted 12 Years Ago


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AK
Very well written, complies to your title. Great job!

Posted 12 Years Ago


A remarkable and poignant write....

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is really beautiful! I love your style.

Forever love,
Kat Calathea.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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1500 Views
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Shelved in 5 Libraries
Added on February 24, 2012
Last Updated on September 6, 2012

Author

Mark D
Mark D

Edinburgh, United Kingdom



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I am a 30 year old from Edinburgh in Scotland more..

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