Now hunting the raven

Of the elite in lover’s Ireland

I was the surviving monument

But I was never initiated

In the romantic tradition of being lied to

I became a smith of bloodlust

With blind folly and ruin

I brought scars to the dove

And prophesised the raven

 

But I was not made for this

I spiked on the brakes

Vacated my temporary form

After battlefield slaughter

 

Now mumbling wishful fantasies

Through a broken jaw

Out in the wilderness

Still nursing the dove

Now hunting the raven

Reviews

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Nice use of symbols to tell us your dark story.
Good job!

[Reeti]

I like how u've depicted the transition of the narrator's life and himself. His vengeful tendency has been well-captured through your option of words. The concept of your free-style verse is quite original, while the choice of words is very mellow. The parts "the surviving monument", "smith of bloodlust", and "mumbling wishful fantasies" stand out. It enables the readers to perceive that infidelity or dishonesty can bring out the demon in oneself. The fact that u've used the term 'dove' in contradiction to 'raven' is appealing. Plus, i'm glad that there is a happy ending to the poem.- "Still nursing the dove, Now hunting the raven."

[Stammers]

But I was never initiated
In the romantic tradition of being lied to

- absolutely ace. You are welcome to borrow my ordination vodka along with obligatory photo and keepsake burning equipment, if you'd ever like an insight into the process.

This is very well constructed and yet militantly creative. I really learned a lot from reading this.

[Natasha]

Love the bringing together of the dove and raven-symbolic of dark and light. I really love the last line- really brings a close to the poem nicely. You also have some excellent word usages as well.

[Lily Mae]

Sometimes we find ourselves on the wrong path and the most important thing is when we wake up to that reality before it's too late.. I find embracing both the dove and raven as aspects of me in life balance me out.. :) wonderful write as always..xo

[Allie]

This is a very powerful piece with great metaphors. This one is going into my favorites.

[recantichize]

this whole poem is fascinating on so many levels, but the last stanza to me is so powerful. the idea of healing of mending this idea of hope and purity and hunting death and deceit. very potent. thank you.

[Hayley]

"I became a smith of bloodlust
With blind folly and ruin
I brought scars to the dove
And prophesised the raven"

Phenomenal stanza; I stand in awe. I absolutely love the contrast between the raven and the dove. A stark contrast and somewhat obvious, but so graceful and understated in this context. "Out in the wilderness
Still nursing the dove
Now hunting the raven"

The passing of time in this piece is crucial, especially in those lines, in the wilderness yet, the untamed unconscious self is who we truly are... AND this relates to Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven. Loved this!!