YOU

YOU

A Poem by Dave


                              YOU

The moon shines bright yet fades in the glow of you.

Stars sparkle in the darkened heavens, but not as you.

Fresh as a morning in Spring, ground wet with dew,

nothing transcends the beauty I find in you.

How can it be that you come to me,

you a goddess that i can love and see

Soft and tender, all eternity it would take,

my wanting to adore you to shake.  

So come again to me and again let us be,

together let us build on a sweet memory

of a love so whole, honest and true,

a love whose very core is you.








© 2019 Dave


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Reviews

Before I forget, the word "not" in line 8 appears to negate what you really mean to say here. MY WANTING TO ADORE YOU is what might be shaken here . . .

This is one of the best romantic poems I've read from you. As you know, I don't like run of the mill romantic lines & I like the way you've crafted these . . . especially opening lines, comparing one's love to moon-stars-springtime. These are pretty common comparisons, so this is not wildly original. But the way you word things is what makes this poem feel fresh. I also feel this narrator is being intelligently persuasive, rather than just begging like a fool (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 3 Months Ago


Dave

3 Months Ago

Margie - thank you again. I listened and you were right - I took out the offending "not" in line 8... read more
A very romantic Dave here! There are many you's in life but only one YOU!
T

Posted 5 Months Ago


Dave

5 Months Ago

I'm glad you liked it. YOU are so right!
Take care - Dave
Tender and romantic lines here Dave. A great deal of love shown for the "You" that has been written about. Some lovely imagery here as well. All good wishes.

Chris



Posted 5 Months Ago


Dave

5 Months Ago

Thank you Chris - I'm glad you liked it.
I hope that all is well with you as they are here.<.. read more
Christine Anne Shaw

5 Months Ago

All good Dave. Best to you.
extremely romantic words here, and profession of love.
the subject of this poem would have to be muchly moved.
j.

Posted 5 Months Ago



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Added on September 11, 2019
Last Updated on October 29, 2019

Author

Dave
Dave

Bridgewater, NJ



About
David B. Pincus I am a retired teacher. I have taught in grades 5th-8th in New Jersey. I am married and have two grown daughters and four grandsons. I enjoy playing tennis and traveling. With m.. more..

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