Feeling Fake

Feeling Fake

A Poem by Marztothemoon
"

I don't really know how to describe this one. I wrote it at a time when I felt very unsure of myself. And of others.

"

Everything feels out of place


Like a door you meant to close but was left ajar

A dish that has been broken and glued together wrong

Sitting in one place too long, not noticing your limbs falling asleep


Everything feels like a lie


Like telling someone you like their dress, if only not to hurt their feelings

You tell me you love me.

That you believe me. 

But maybe you just don't want to see me cry. 


Everything feels like a threat


I used to feel secure

Safe

What happened to make me so afraid?



✧✧✧



I want to bury myself deep, deep within the mud.

To cover myself with earth and stretch my roots deep, deep, within myself until I find my own core. 


Underground I could grow, without judgement, untouchable.

Underground I could move freely.

Underground I could breathe.

© 2021 Marztothemoon


Author's Note

Marztothemoon
I separated the bottom two stanzas from the rest of the poem because even though they didn't quite go with the piece above, I felt like it wouldn't fully describe what I was feeling without them. I think the separation was a good solution though. Please tell me what you think! I'd love to know how I can inprove!

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

I'm loving the last two stanzas. The image is so clear in my mind, so appropriate to the feeling. The repetition of "lie" and "threat" works for me too. The only part that doesn't click for me is the first stanza. Your similes are a little too commonplace for me. I would put something deeper, like sleeping in a new house, when you don't recognize the shadows. Like early morning rain that blots out the sun. These ring true to me, at least to what I think you're describing. If you like what you have, keep it! I like really niche metaphors, but that's me. Everything else is stellar!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I have no complex review, but I would like to say that I like this piece. I like the way you opened it and elaborated on the first statement. I liked the way you formatted the piece. The way you'd start with a certain statement and then talk more specifically about what you meant. I also liked the last two stanzas. I would have liked if you somehow found a way to bridge them to the pain piece, however.

Posted 1 Year Ago


I'm loving the last two stanzas. The image is so clear in my mind, so appropriate to the feeling. The repetition of "lie" and "threat" works for me too. The only part that doesn't click for me is the first stanza. Your similes are a little too commonplace for me. I would put something deeper, like sleeping in a new house, when you don't recognize the shadows. Like early morning rain that blots out the sun. These ring true to me, at least to what I think you're describing. If you like what you have, keep it! I like really niche metaphors, but that's me. Everything else is stellar!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

44 Views
2 Reviews
Added on July 15, 2021
Last Updated on July 15, 2021
Tags: poetry, lies

Author

Marztothemoon
Marztothemoon

About
I like to write things. Maybe you'll like reading them? more..

Writing