Darling, Darling

When you need to help the ones you love but there is nothing you can do. When all you want is for them to see how incredible they are.

Long nights, ragged breaths

Dark thoughts, screaming hearts

My darling, you are worthy.

Aching days, toxic words

Clenched stomach, choking chest.

My darling, you’re beautiful.

I can’t fix you; I can’t take the pain away.

Even though I try to every day.

It breaks me when you break.

You are my light, my hope.

But you don’t see it.

Long nights, ragged breaths

Dark thoughts, screaming hearts

My darling, I love you so.

Aching days, toxic words

Clenched stomach, choking chest.

My darling you are everything.

Darling, Darling

Never leave me,

Because then I would cease to be.

Long nights, Aching days.

Ragged breaths, choking chests. 

Darling I love you.

Darling I need you.

Darling don't let them defeat you.

Long nights, Aching days.

Ragged breaths, choking chests. 

Darling, Darling let me free you.

Darling, Darling here I am. 

Darling, Darling I see you.

You are a beauty, you are smart

You have it all tied up in your heart. 

Darling, Darling

let yourself shine, I promise it will be more than fine. 

Darling, Darling, let your pain be mine. 

Darling, Darling you were meant for the divine. 

Long nights, Aching days.

Ragged breaths, choking chests. 

Darling, Darling please listen close. 

The battle is over, now free your ghosts. 

Darling, Darling I know it's hard.

But the past is just a shard 

Darling, Darling, just take a step back.

Darling, Darling, see how little you lack. 

Darling, Darling I love you so.

I told the moon to tell you so. 

Darling, Darling I believe in you clearly

I told the sun to watch over you dearly.

Darling darling you sparkle with in. 

I told the stars that you will win. 

Glowing nights, Bright days.

Peeling laughter, pounding hearts. 

Darling, Darling the clouds are gone. 

Darling, Darling step into the dawn. 

The sun has shone, the moon has glistened. 

Its about time you listened. 

Darling, Darling, you are exceptional. 

Glowing nights, Bright days.

Peeling laughter, pounding hearts. 

Author's Note

This piece was mainly to get my feelings out but then it turned into something else, almost story like. I know it's long but please give it a read. It's something very different for me. Reviews for this are wanted because I am still very unsure about it, thanks!
Thank you to Eric Pudalov for the replacement of step into the dawn instead of step onto the lawn.

Reviews

[Laura Harrison]

oh wow! this is amazing :) i love the structure aswell

[Blue]

I like the poem because I can relate to it (My ex-lover's endearment to me is 'darling') and I feel the emotions conveyed all throughout.

[audrie]

It didn't make a difference whether it was long or not - it was awesome!

[Maskedthoughts]

Thank you!

[Eric Pudalov]

I enjoyed reading this piece, and it didn't feel "long," as you stated. Perhaps it was because of its song-like nature (the rhyming and the choruses). It has a great flow to it, and I also feel as though it has quite a story.

Some of my favorite poems, in general, are the ones that tell a true story and express the author's genuine feelings - I believe that this is one of those poems.

I only have two minor critiques (which you're free to take or leave). I initially thought the rhyme of "come out on the lawn" sounded a bit off, but that's up to you. If you're willing to edit it at all, something like "step into the dawn" might fit in well too.

The other thing I noticed was right after the line, "The battle is over, now free your ghosts/Darling Darling I know [its] hard," "its" should be spelled "it's." But other than that, I enjoyed the poem very much, and as I said, it's very rhythmic with great imagery. It was a pleasure to read!

[Maskedthoughts]

Thank you so much. For the "come out on the lawn" I must agree I thought it sounded a bit awkward at the time, if you wouldn't mind I really like the 'step into the dawn idea. Thank you!

[Eric Pudalov]

Oh no, I don't mind at all! I've occasionally taken someone's critique and used it in my poems...I usually credit them in the "Author's Note" section, but you don't have to. :-) I'd like to read some more of your work soon!