Contradictions.

I found myself in the reflection of the clouds in the Crystal Lake. I found myself in the chirps of the bird, and the solidness of the ground. I found myself in the earth; I found my fragments in the universe.

I lost myself in your soulful eyes, in your throaty laugh. I lost myself in the way you move, in the way you sin. I lost myself in the ocean of you; I lost everything but the details of you.  

I don’t know what’s true anymore. I don’t know who I am or what I’m about all I know is that I am simply here. I wander around not to be found but to find. I run not flee but to chase. I've become a mosaic of light that’s been shattered with the darkness. I cease to exist but all I do is live.

I don’t understand me and I sure as hell don’t get you. All I know is that I crave one more taste, one more touch and I cry one more tear.

I feel the fear of losing him with every step I take. Every time my foot slams into the ground so does my dignity. I’ve lost myself to the winds of love; I've drowned in the sea of uncertainty.

I’m lost but I know I found my home, I don’t have the answers, but I know the questions and I don’t know what’s right but I know I love. 

Author's Note

THis is a mixture of a journal entry, a short story excerpt and a poem. I dont know what it is but i wanted to share it.

Reviews

[Bhuyanshi Talukdar]

Your words are both powerful and emotional. The way you describe the complexities of identity and relationships is both vivid and poetic. Your use of imagery and metaphor is particularly effective, and it helps to create a sense of wonder and introspection in the reader. I think that your writing is a testament to the power of art to help us process our emotions and connect with others.

[Pete]

I think that emotions like love and who you really are put you in doubt. You like feeling different emotions like love but they confuse you. You seek truth and meaning. Nature is certainly the place to find it.

[alifeacoustic]

It is the contradiction of life, of love and of the inequality of being. It sometimes feels that fate says..."Okay, maskedthoughts is pretty happy, she has been for a while. Let's through a few spanners in the works and see how she deals with that".
I would have used myself in that example, but I'm sure I would have set off the naughty word alarm for what fate thought about me :)
Wonderfully written piece, with a clarity within your contradictions.

[ANTO]

Contradictions could just as easily be titled Addictions MT. You convey very well, the sense of the lack of logic and rationale that comes with both love and addiction. The loss of dignity and self is also a symptom of both. But what is life without the gamble of love. Loneliness?
I like where your writing takes me. Thanks for sharing. Good to see you again.

[Maskedthoughts]

Thank you for your thoughts :)