(X) Years Coming: A Kid From Pallet

(X) Years Coming: A Kid From Pallet

A Poem by Jesse Lancaster
"

Giving up before we win.

"
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This is a previous version of (X) Years Coming: A Kid From Pallet.



I know.
I know it hurt.
I know it might not have been what you wanted to see.
I know you filled your head with thoughts of what we could be, so close.
I know you thought I was so close you could almost smell the cologne.
I know it's hard to understand me.
I know I won't be able to make you see how it felt.
Someone just like the former, interested in me.
Different, new and inviting--while you were miles away.
Mere miles still feeling like whole states.



Worlds apart.



I know you'll see me like the others--boys looking for attention, just to f**k you over.
But I'm not. 
      I'm still me. 
      I'm the same boy you've known for (X) years, now.
Yet changed, even so.
I know I'm impatient, an opportunist at my worst.
I know I'm selfish.
I know I didn't call.
You weren't the only one.
I don't know if I was always like this: acting before thinking of how it would affect others.
I don't know if we'll ever be the same.
I know I hate who I was, 
  but I didn't know you loved him.
Drowning.
We both know I'm not proud of myself.
_________________________________________________________________________________
This is the root of our nature, we hate ourselves and we don’t know why…
  This is the root of our nature, we numb ourselves until we die.

-400 Blows, “The Root of Our Nature” 

© 2011 Jesse Lancaster




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Added on October 15, 2011
Last Updated on October 16, 2011
Tags: I know, I fucked up, close, not what you wanted, worlds apart, sorry, solski

Author

Jesse Lancaster
Jesse Lancaster

Manchester, CT



About
I'm Jesse Lancaster. No I'm not. I am: 19 And now: @ Uni for my sophomore year. My writing draws heavy influences from the music I listen to, other writers (such as Chuck Palahniuk, John Green a.. more..

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