Heavenly Moments in Nature...

Heavenly Moments in Nature...

A Poem by harman kour
"

I love thinking about spending my time in rich green meadows and in forests so here's something for my Mother Nature...

"
I was walking on the dew-laid grass
Grass so rich and lush green.
As far as my eyes could see
There were bushes, shrubs and thick undergrowth
And amongst them stood tall and firm-
The silent and mighty Trees
So lofty and huge that even
A beam of sunlight could barely manage to seep in.
It was so refreshing, so pristine
It soothed my soul to the core of my heart
I ran and danced on the picturesque land
Sparrows and Butterflies, Deers and Bears
Were all my lovely peers...
Everything bloomed in perfect harmony
Because the Evil man had not yet
Pounced on this heavenly abode!
I became a different me...
Capering and frolicking in the lap of Nature
I wanted this to be my past, present and future...
I didn't want to leave...
Wished to spend my life here forever...
Before my brother growled at me
For sleeping till late!
And I opened my eyes to see
I was prisoned in the four walls of my room...
My ecstasy vanished and what left behind was all Gloom :(

© 2010 harman kour


Author's Note

harman kour
It comes straight from my heart... :)

My Review

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Reviews

Dear harman,

What a wonderful dream. Sorry you had to return to the stark reality of four walls.

You did a wonderful job of imparting the free and open freedom one feels in nature. Sometimes it feels as if there is no ceiling to your soul and that you too also extend to infinity. It's at times like these that one is the most free, colors are the most vivid, that air is the freshest and tastes almost sweet as it fills the lungs.

Greatly enjoyed.

Best regards,

Rick

Posted 13 Years Ago


It's pretty, but there's not much else to be said. I like the dream aspect, and your description, but you may want to watch how you end a few of the lines. Whether you want it to or not, a line break creates a pause in the reading, and some of the places you've put them look strange (line 7 and 15 are particular examples). I would understand it if you had any kind of form, but this is free verse, so I'm left to wonder.

Also, does the odd capitalization seem out of place to anyone else?

Posted 13 Years Ago


"It comes straight from my heart... :)"
As most poetry should! (You ever hear a poem that didn't come from the heart?)

Now in regards to the poem this is not a stanza peice. Albiet I bite my tongue on the issue of true tranquility, I must say the scene painted here is quite serene. Your flow is rather smooth and you use of language is fine. A few terms were confusing, conflicting with the rest of the poem but overall you did a fine job.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I thought this read well. There are rhymes in here.
I like the emotion you put into this write.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Poetry never has to rhyme...it's like Seasons not one it's alike !
The heart it the final word.. from you and I second that emotion!
Bello

Posted 13 Years Ago


feelings well expressed:)
the thing is some of ur lines do rhyme while others don't. that obstructs the flow of you poem a bit. otherwise it was very nice :)


Posted 14 Years Ago


this was very lovely:)

Posted 14 Years Ago


This is beautifully expressed, and a dream I've had before, with a few different details.
You did rhyme a couple of times, and its better to continue not rhyming if you don't plan to rhyme. Rhyme and meter must work together to make rhyme work and feel natural. In other words, to make the unnatural natural we must plan it out very very well. It takes practice, and I too am still imperfect. I like to play with form, experiment.
It's certainly not absurdity, in the least. Thank you very much for sharing this beautiful gem.

Posted 14 Years Ago


This was sublime! I love this aspect of nature you can keep on admiring it for hours and hours. And the last stanza where the dream is broken and your back to the boring compact center of your room is perfectly explained. Overall a beautiful write. :-)

Posted 14 Years Ago


Oh! such a lovely green dream and expressed so beautifully!

Posted 14 Years Ago



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901 Views
16 Reviews
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Added on March 19, 2010
Last Updated on May 18, 2010
Tags: nature, happiness, dream

Author

harman kour
harman kour

jammu, j&k, India



About
its hard to describe me... i m a wave- calm n pleasing, a grain- worthless yet with a beauty of its own, i m silence i m depth... i m nothing yet something... more..

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