Healing in Reverse

Whoops.

shaking and weak

the sickness overwhelms me and I lose control

what is this obsession?

the present was forthcoming and foreseeable

..and yet too soon

why am I still attached to this?

an anchor

the bottom can't come too fast

why can't I write that I hate you?

I am helpless

I can admit it

though it hardly staves off the motion sickness

as my memories pull me in every direction

loathing, sadness, apathy and denial

..stunted

..alone

my good-bye isn't convincing

I still speak to you everyday

the why and the how

the answers not forthcoming or foreseeable

..and yet too clear