If I'm your only hope.... you're f*****g screwed

You love me for the way I break your heart,
I rearrange it like its fucked up art.

 

I smile when you're hurt,
that's the only happiness your worth.

 

You think I'm digging my grave,

but darling Im digging yours.
Maybe when your dead I'll love you more.

 

You held my breath for me,
I'm ripping my heart off my sleeve.
Back the hell down

and let me breathe.

 

Covered in dirt,
blood dripping from your face,
oh honey your so beautiful these days.

 

This is it.
You've got nothing left to lose.

 

S**t.

 

If I'm your only hope,
your f*****g screwed.

Author's Note

Thank you all so much for your wonderful feedback. :)

Reviews

[Shannon]

I may come off as slightly sadistic in saying this, but i absolutely ADORE this piece. The force of each line, the power behind it is never rackingly beautiful, and the jarring flow just makes it all the more mind boggling.

What i find very interesting is the vulgarity. The piece is formed around it almost, but does not concentrate on it. Almost like each word spits its own little insult in competition with the actual curses lol.

Kudos to you my friend for this stunning piece!

[Bard Constantine]

Raw emotion, served sizzling. Although I'm personally not a big fan of profanity in poetics, I like your unapologetic style. The back and forth contrasts of the lines in this one give it a touch of dark humor as well. Nicely done, new friend.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

While the anger in this is palpable, I sense a great deal of hurt as well. A freshly wounded cat is more apt to claw first than lick its wounds. So, great job for expressing the anger in such an openly, relatable way.

[Blue tailed kite]

Wow... this is a powerful poem... it really hits you in the guts
I'm ripping my heart off my sleeve.
Love this line. Awesome job!!

[Hellslastwarrior]

Wow this was great loved it rating 100 for awsume contradiction with great use of imigary on every line. Great stuff keep writing ill keep reading.

Hey check some my stuff out if you liek i think you might like a couple of poems i put on there lately. Thanks and goood stuff again :) You held my breath for me,
I'm ripping my heart off my sleeve.
Back the hell down

and let me breathe.
fuunny. :)

[LaurenGrapefruit]

This is really powerful and fast-paced.
I especially like the "i'm ripping my heart off my sleeve" line.

[jumbie's #1 fan]

lol this one is great. good job my dear. if you and I were together, we'd take the poetry world by storm

[Manda]

Another awesome write! So creative! So powerful! The emotions are expressed beautifully. Also, the style you used was nice too. It really makes the piece pop out more. I too am 16 but dont have such talent as yours. You should be happy you can write such magnificent pieces! You will go far if you keep on writing! I hope one day I will see you in a book! =) Well done once again!

[Kes]

AMAZING! I'm into dark, scary, sadistic stuff, and swearing doesn't bother me in the slightest, so this was right up my street! I love it so much!!!
Great write!

[PurpleHeadedCrazyNut]

I absoloutly love this. It's disturbingly beautiful.. Good Luck with the contest xx